She got married in 2019. The pressure of "having a child in the same year" with a group of friends caused Lan Anh to fall into a "fake pregnancy" situation: every time she suspected she was pregnant, she went to the doctor and received negative results. In mid-2020, after a "stress release" trip in Da Lat, she had a stomachache, bleeding and was informed that she was 6 weeks pregnant, but when taking an ultrasound, the doctor said that the fetus had a blood clot that accounted for about 70% of the cervical cavity. "The doctor told me to stay in the same state and not travel much. I was so scared that I lay still as if "frozen", then the doctor reminded me to move gently," she said.
The next event is gestational diabetes. During the COVID-19 pandemic, inconsistent medical examinations and added information online made her more scared. Lan Anh measured her blood sugar 34 times a day until her fingertips peeled off. Despite strictly avoiding the diet, she still gained 25kg because she thought "eating nuts, grains and unsweetened milk is not beo". "After eating, I cried because I felt guilty about my child," she said. The husband loved his wife so he often bought the things she craved, but many times he had to... eat it himself because his wife didn't dare to touch him.
The day she gave birth to her first child was a series of incidents: a needle caused a stiffening of the scrotum fell off, medicine was leaking into the bed, and she had to get a strong re-dose to make her " stiff as a plant".
"The doctor did a digging, the child turned purple and then gradually turned pink. When I heard my child cry, I collapsed because I was exhausted, Lan Anh recalled.
Fearing that her husband would be exhausted when witnessing the childbirth, she let her mother go into the support room. However, the mother was shocked when she saw her daughter surrender.
After giving birth, Lan Anh hired a nurse, after which she stayed in a month but was still under mental pressure. The second pregnancy - a time when she "disappointed the plan" despite taking birth control pills and using emergency medicine - she learned many lessons: eat in moderation, be less obsessed with numbers, trust the doctor instead of "gooking Google". "I told you to drink plenty of water and then go to the toilet if you are tired to reduce sugar levels. I feel much more calm, she said.
The second child was also old but the birth went smoothly. "I followed the doctor's instructions and gave birth smoothly," Lan Anh laughed.
Looking back, she realized that what made her exhausted was not the disease but the invisible pressure from expectations and fears from misinformation. The second time, I slowed down, listened to the doctor, listened to my body and called emotional names. The quality of the journey has changed completely, she concluded.
With her two young children, Lan Anh just hopes to try her best every day. "Having children helps me improve myself. Mom and Dad will always be by our side, love us the same and teach us to love each other, she said.
