Endure

Việt Văn |

There is a very common misunderstanding in love that the more you love, the more you have to endure, endure. People often call it sacrifice. Initially, everything happens very naturally. You like someone, so you want to indulge their preferences. Whatever they like to eat, you also learn to eat that dish. Wherever they want to go, you are willing to go with them. They are sad, you are worried. They are happy, you are happy too. Love is inherently empathy.

But there is a very fragile boundary between empathy and living instead of other people's emotions. Many people step over that boundary without realizing it.

There is a girl working in the media industry, who loves a very talented and ambitious man. He is always busy, always has big plans. Initially, she admired it. Later, she started adjusting her whole life to suit his rhythm of life. He liked her to be gentler, she said less of what she thought. He didn't like her taking photos on weekends because he thought it was a fleeting pleasure, she gradually gave up the trips she was excited about before. He wanted to focus on his career, so he often canceled appointments, she told herself to be sympathetic. Year after year, she always asked herself: "Is he happy?", "Is he satisfied?", "Does he need anything from me?

Until one day, a friend asked: "What about you? What do you want?" She was silent for a long time. She really didn't know the answer.

That is probably the biggest tragedy of many relationships when someone loses the ability to recognize their own voice.

But the irony is that when you constantly forget your own emotions, the first person to be hurt is you. And then the relationship itself gradually becomes suffocating. Growing up in love is not measured by how many storms you can endure, but in the fact that you know where the limits to tolerance are and when to speak out.

If one day you realize that you know by heart all the emotions of others but cannot name your own emotions, then it is a great loss on the journey of love.

Việt Văn
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