In a conversation with Lao Dong, Johnny Tri Nguyen talked about how to face breakups, love views and current life choices.
- After an old relationship ended, how was your life affected?
Of course there are certain influences. If I say there is absolutely no influence, it is not honest.
In a stage of life, we can be close, connected to a soul. When the relationship is no longer suitable, physically two people may be apart, but the connection in the soul does not simply disappear immediately.
Many people may wriggle in that emptiness. But how you live with emotions is still your choice.
Love is not entirely in the consciousness that we want to love or stop loving someone and can immediately do it. If humans could control that, perhaps there would be no romantic feelings, heartbreak or unrequited love.
It is that naturalness that makes love special.
- How do you overcome the feeling of sadness after a breakup?
I think everything has a cycle. When duyen is enough, we create a beautiful picture. When duyen is gone, it is like a withered flower or a ripe fruit that falls.
Understanding it like that does not mean I am not sad. I still have emotions, just not to let myself be exhausted because of it.
I even cherish sad emotions. Because deep sadness often originates from deep love. In a way, it is evidence that that feeling once existed.
- After the past experiences, has the way you receive a new love changed?
I think we often confuse love and relationships. These are two different issues.
People set the structure and conditions for a relationship, such as what is a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband. But love does not operate entirely according to those conditions.
We cannot force ourselves to stop loving someone, nor can we force ourselves to love someone.
- So do you set a role model for the woman you want to be attached to in the future?
Everyone can set an ideal model by perception, for example thinking that this person will suit you, that person will be better. But love does not necessarily choose the right model.
Everyone has a "taste". We can be attracted by color, taste, beauty or a form of energy. That attraction happens naturally and is very difficult to change just by willpower.
Therefore, I don't think feelings can be calculated entirely by the criteria set out in advance.
- In your 50s, do you still think about getting married?
Marriage belongs to the structure of a relationship. We have boyfriends, girlfriends, marriage and then husband and wife. I don't see that structure as more important than love.
People are sometimes tired of putting themselves in too tight a framework, while love is not necessarily within that framework.
The tighter the structure, the more miserable the two people can be when their feelings are no longer compatible.
- Does that mean you no longer put much emphasis on a marriage in the future?
I don't take that seriously.
If viewed from a negative perspective, two people in a relationship can sometimes become guards of each other. When you are truly in love, I don't think there is a need for too many barriers or rules about what the other person is allowed or not allowed to do.
That is not the life experience that I want to impose on myself or someone else.
- Was this concept formed after the breakdowns you have experienced?
I think a person's perception changes according to what they experience. The important thing is that you understand your own emotions but don't let them control the whole life.
I do not deny sadness, nor do I think it is necessary to erase the feelings I once had. Those things are all part of a life experience.
- If you used three phrases to talk about Johnny Tri Nguyen currently, what would you choose?
Be relaxed, happy and seek cognitive challenges.
Thank you for your sharing!
