You work in a communication office. Colleagues are late for deadlines, you take on the burden. Colleagues are suddenly off, you are on duty instead. The boss assigns work at ten o'clock at night, you obey and do it immediately. Your kindness gradually becomes obvious, like electricity, water or wifi in the office. People only realize the value when it suddenly disappears. Until one day, when you are sitting eating vermicelli, a message falls down: "Urgently revise the 30-page plan in one hour". You drop your chopsticks, leisurely type exactly four words: "I don't do it anymore". The office is shaken. Some people say you change, others blame you for being difficult. Some people even bewilderedly ask: "How gentle were you back then?".
They are wrong. In the past, you chose to endure, not that you are a tireless entity. And when you endure dozens of times, many people naturally see it as a duty. And they calmly pour all the pressure, emotional waste and injustice on you, and then mistakenly believe that you are born to endure. But there is no pit without bottom. And there is no sponge that sucks water forever without being heavy-hearted. Many marriages break down not because of the last battle, but because of thousands of times of silence before that. Many friendships break down not because of one word, but because one side squeezes out their heart to give, while the other side calmly receives.
The most violent explosive person is usually not the hot-tempered person, but the person who has endured the longest. Growing up is not about learning to endure more, but about drawing boundaries for yourself, proactively saying "no" before yelling, frankly giving advice before cutting off and decisively refusing before the heart is filled with resentment. Patience is a beautiful virtue, but if you only know how to absorb without knowing how to release, it will turn into a reservoir of slow-burning bombs of damage. Every sponge needs to be squeezed dry at the right time. Otherwise, one day, what spills out will no longer be tolerance, but a wave of fierceness accumulated over the years. At that time, those who are used to silence will be startled to realize that gentle people when angry are even more frightening than anyone.
