Who should pay?
No longer a rigid rule that men pay, many young people today see spending in dating more flexibly, based on the financial situation of both.
Ms. Le Thu Thao (24 years old, Hanoi) believes that splitting expenses helps her feel more equal and comfortable in the relationship.
If every time I go on a date, I let a male friend pay, I will feel embarrassed and pressured. After that, I will find a way to reciprocate something," Ms. Thao shared.
Meanwhile, Mr. Hoang Nam (26 years old, Hanoi) has a different perspective. Mr. Nam shared that he is willing to pay for dates because he sees it as a way to show concern.
I feel that paying for dates is the duty of men. But I am still very happy if the female friend proactively suggests sharing or inviting me back in the next times," Mr. Nam said.
Reality shows that there is no common formula for all couples. The important thing is not who pays, but how both of you feel about it. If one side feels happy and comfortable, and the other side feels respected, then the date is successful.
Don't turn paying money into a duty
According to Ms. Nguyen Thi Hong Van - Financial advisor at FIDT Investment Consulting and Asset Management Joint Stock Company, the most important thing is how couples perceive payment.
Dating is inherently a fun experience. When spending is agreed upon, the date will become more comfortable, thereby creating more beautiful memories," Ms. Van shared.
Financial experts emphasize that payment should not be seen as an obligation, but should be seen as a way to show concern.
We can recognize that behind every expense is labor. When invited to a meal or a neat date, showing respect is necessary," Ms. Van said.
According to her observation, many male friends today still feel happy when they proactively pay the majority of the costs, especially in the early stages of getting to know each other. However, the subtlety from the female friend, such as sincere thanks or a request to share in later times, will make the other person feel recognized.
Couples can proactively observe and choose locations suitable for both of their financial capacity. After a few dates, each person usually has a basic view of the other's work and income. From there, choosing a restaurant and dating activities should be considered to avoid creating unnecessary pressure," said Ms. Nguyen Thi Hong Van.
Another important sign is emotions after the date. If one of you feels uncomfortable, shy, or pressured about expenses, it is a sign that you need to adjust your spending style.
Finally, financial experts believe that frank but skillful communication is the key.
Just a gentle conversation about how to share costs, and both will easily find common ground," Ms. Nguyen Thi Hong Van emphasized.
There is no absolute right or wrong in the story of who pays when dating. When care is put first, money is only a small part of the journey to build a relationship.
