Many parents only realize that their children have problems when things have gone too far. Some children have declined in their studies, some children are withdrawn, some children are irritable, even saying negative things that shock parents.
But in reality, what children need most when they encounter problems is not a lecture, but an adult who is calm enough to be by their side and help them solve them.
Below are practical ways to handle it, helping parents accompany their children properly when they are facing difficulties.
1. Stop scolding and asking questions at once.
Many parents, because of worry, unintentionally make their children more afraid. When a child just encounters something, if scolded or questioned repeatedly, the child will tend to remain silent and hide it.
Instead of asking continuously "Why is that?", start with a gentle sentence like "Parents are here, you just say it slowly".
2. Listen first, solve later
A common mistake is that parents rush to give advice when their child has only said a few words. This makes the child feel that they are not being understood.
Let your child speak everything. Just sitting next to them, looking into their eyes and listening attentively is already a great healing.
3. Confirm your child's emotions
When your child cries or is sad, don't say "There's nothing to cry about". For children, their problems are always real and very big.
Parents should say things like "Parents understand you are very sad" or "This must put pressure on you". Acknowledging emotions helps you calm down faster.
4. Avoid blaming and comparison
Comparing children with friends or siblings only makes children self-conscious and withdrawn. Many children encounter problems but do not dare to share because they are afraid of being considered failure.
In the period when children are weak, parents need to keep their words soft and respectful.
5. Find solutions step by step with your child
After the child calms down, parents can ask "What do you want your parents to help with?" or "What can I do first".
Solutions do not need to be perfect immediately. Just dividing the problem into small steps will help your child feel controlled and less desperate.
6. If the problem is serious, seek professional support
If your child shows signs of prolonged stress, insomnia, self-harm or talking about death, parents should not handle it alone.
Finding a psychologist is not a shame, but a way to protect your child at the right time.
Parents need to remember, you don't need a judge, you need a companion. When parents are calm enough, you will learn how to stand up. And sometimes, parents' patience is what saves you from the deepest hurts.
