When the phone interferes with conversations
In a coffee shop in Hanoi, Ms. Le Linh Chi (25 years old, Hanoi) told about an experience that changed her view of love.
Once I shared with my boyfriend about family matters, quite seriously. That is something I thought for a long time before saying it out. However, the reaction received was a cold attitude, he just focused on pressing the phone. At that time, I felt like I didn't exist in the conversation. I was talking, but no one really listened," Ms. Linh Chi said.
Initially, Linh Chi reassured herself that it was just an unbreakable habit in an era where everyone is attached to phones. But similar times repeated, from small stories to important shares, accumulated feelings of disappointment. She began to speak less, no longer proactively opening up as before.
I no longer want to share, because I think saying it will not be listened to. Gradually, the two of us talked less even though we still met often," Ms. Le Linh Chi shared.
Not only in love, the feeling of being "forgotten" also creeps into family life. Mr. Do Nhat Nam (27 years old, office worker) said that family meals were originally time to gather around, but now they have become quiet in an uncomfortable way.
There was a day when the whole family sat down to eat, but each person had a phone. No one talked to anyone. There was a time when I tried to proactively change, put down my phone and start talking. But the response was still the familiar indifference. Everyone was still busy watching, so I stopped. Gradually it became familiar, everyone is in their own world," Mr. Nam said.
Proactively set a time off from using the phone
Talking to reporters, Master of Psychology Bui Thi Hai Yen - Founder and CEO of NHC Vietnam Human Psychology and Development System - said that the feeling of being ignored is not simply temporary discomfort but can deeply affect psychology.
Every word, every sharing has a certain purpose, it can be clear or just vague expectations. But when you have spoken, it means that people want to be listened to and understood. If ignored, communication goals are not achieved, the speaker will feel that they are not valued," expert Hai Yen analyzed.
Not stopping there, being ignored many times can lead to a series of negative emotions such as loss of trust, feeling of being looked down upon or no longer being cared for. In the long run, these emotions can cause individuals to withdraw, limit sharing, thereby reducing the quality of communication.
Trust is the foundation of all relationships. When trust is eroded, relationships are definitely negatively affected," the expert emphasized.
To limit this situation, experts recommend that couples and families should proactively set up periods of time without using phones every day.
You can start from 15 - 30 minutes, then gradually increase, in order to create a complete communication space, where each person truly listens and is present with each other. Maintaining such short but regular periods of time will help restore connection, strengthen trust and improve the quality of relationships sustainably," the expert added.
