Not every child is heartless
You just need to study, let your parents take care of everything" - this is a familiar saying in many Vietnamese families stemming from the desire for children to have a fulfilling childhood, without having to worry about the worries of adults.
However, it is also this protection that sometimes makes many children grow up without really seeing the trade-offs behind meals, new clothes or tuition fees paid on time each semester.
Many parents only receive a thank you for their sacrifices over the years when their children grow up, go to work or get married. This makes many people feel sad, believing that children today are more indifferent, considering parental care as obvious.
Talking to Lao Dong Newspaper, Master of Psychology Chu Thi Thao (Center for Psychology and Human Development NHC Vietnam) said that this is a fairly common psychological phenomenon among young people today.
According to experts, from birth, parents are almost the whole world of a child. They are cared for every meal, sleep, and basic needs are met throughout the first years of life. When that happens every day, children easily assume that care is natural.
Parents will worry, feed them, dress them, take care of every little thing. Children grow up in such a cared for environment, it is almost assumed that it is obvious," said Master Chu Thi Thao.
In puberty, children pay more attention to friends, learning and the process of asserting themselves. Children do not have enough experience to put themselves in the shoes of their parents, so it is difficult to fully feel the pressure and trade-offs behind daily care.
Children in that period may see parental care as obvious, but not because they are bad, heartless or ungrateful children. Sometimes because they are living in a frame of reference: being cared for is what they receive," the expert analyzed.
Gratitude needs to be nurtured
According to Master Chu Thi Thao, gratitude is not a natural quality that appears when a child grows up, but is formed from awareness, experience and living environment.
To be grateful, people need the ability to stop, observe, put themselves in the perspective of the person opposite to understand how hard their parents work. But when can a child put themselves in the position of another person to understand? ", Master Chu Thi Thao said.
Experts believe that in many Vietnamese families, parents often choose to shoulder all the pressure with the thought that they only need their children to study well. Even if it comes from love, it also makes children less likely to understand the value of what they are receiving.
It is very difficult for a child to suddenly realize one day:'Ah, my parents have done a lot for me', unless you encounter a story. Therefore, how to educate children about gratitude, how to help them understand that is very important," Master Chu Thi Thao shared.
Family is the first place to nurture gratitude. When children grow up in an environment where members know how to recognize and appreciate each other's contributions, they will gradually understand that nothing is natural.
The living environment and parental care are very important in forming gratitude in children. When children grow up in a family where everyone knows how to recognize each other, you will understand that everything is not natural or obvious. Conversely, if everyone's sacrifice is considered natural, then children will also naturally think so," this expert said.
According to experts, the important thing is not to wait until the child grows up to recognize the merits of parents, but to help children learn to observe, empathize and see the efforts behind love right from the smallest things in daily life.
