Many parents once uttered familiar sentences: "Why are you so stubborn", "Why don't you know how to listen", "You must be obedient". But there is a truth that many parents are afraid to face: children do not learn obedience from teachings, but learn from how parents behave every day.
A child is not naturally irritable. A child is also not naturally speechless or reacts negatively. Most of the child's behavior is the result of the living environment and how adults react to the child.
Whatever you see, you will do.
When parents often scold, hit the table, raise their voices, or lose control, children will recognize it as "problem handling". Even if parents teach their children to be gentle and calm, they will still learn from the actual behavior they witness every day.
Children are not good at listening. But they are extremely good at observation.
Many parents unintentionally turn the house into a place full of pressure. A small reminder is also reciprocated by irritability. A small mistake is also severely scolded. Gradually, children form a defensive, resisting or imitating psychology in that hot-tempered style.
The more angry parents are, the harder it is for their children to be obedient
The most dangerous thing about anger is not scolding. But the feeling of insecurity in children's hearts. When children are afraid of being scolded, they will no longer want to share. Children choose to remain silent, lie, or do everything secretly to avoid being punished.
That is why the more parents scold, the more stubborn children become. The more they force, the more they resist.
Children are not better after beatings or screams. Children only learn to hide emotions and live in stress.
If parents want their children to be good, they must learn to control their emotions first.
Parents don't need to be perfect. But parents need to be sober enough to realize: if they want their children to know how to restrain themselves, they must also know how to stop at the right time.
When angry, try to be silent for a few seconds, take a deep breath, leave the room if necessary. Just a minute of calm can stop hundreds of hurtful words.
More importantly, parents should learn how to apologize to their children when they are wrong. A sentence "Mom, I'm sorry for being so hot" does not weaken parents, but makes children learn valuable lessons about responsibility and kindness.
Good children are not because of fear, but because they are taught with love.
A good child is truly a child who knows how to adjust, knows how to listen and knows how to respect. That does not come from scolding. It comes from a peaceful environment, where children are guided with patience.
Parents want their children to be well-behaved, first of all, become the adults they want to learn from.
Because it is impossible to teach children to control emotions by their own loss of control.
