Each generation a perspective of nurturing
Summer vacation is a time when many parents have to ask grandparents for support in taking care of their children because they are still busy with work. However, this is also a time when differences in views on caring for and raising children between generations are more clearly revealed.
Ms. Nguyen Thi Hanh (67 years old, Hanoi) said that taking care of her two grandchildren for three summer months is not simple at all.
I think children going to school all year is already hard, summer vacation should be to eat their favorite dishes, watch cartoons or play a little more. Many times when my children ask for anything, I find it difficult to refuse because I just want them to be happy and close to their grandparents," Ms. Hanh shared.
Meanwhile, Ms. Tran Thu Trang (35 years old, office worker in Hanoi) said that she herself applies a parenting method based on scientific recommendations on children's psychology and health.
I try to maintain a stable schedule for my child even during the summer. From sleeping hours, the time to use electronic devices to diet, there are all their own principles," Ms. Trang recounted.
According to Ms. Trang, when living with grandparents, children are often more comfortable in daily life. This sometimes disrupts the regulations that parents have built before.
I understand that grandparents love their grandchildren very much, but are also worried that their children will develop bad habits. I hope that childcare between generations will be more unified," Ms. Trang shared.
Different ways of expressing love easily lead to conflict
According to psychologist Mai Ngoc Quyen - NHC Vietnam Center for Human Development and Psychology, conflicts in families with grandparents supporting childcare in the summer are a fairly common problem.
According to experts, the contradiction is not in who loves the child more, but in the way they express love.
Grandparents often tend to protect and spoil their grandchildren more, while parents today focus on discipline, self-reliance and adaptability of children," the expert said.
Conflicts often appear in issues such as the time spent using electronic devices, living hours, study, eating, or how to handle when children scolding or disobeying.
However, behind these disputes is often not simply raising children but the feeling of disrespect from both generations. When parents feel interfered with their right to raise children, and grandparents feel that their efforts in taking care of grandchildren are not recognized, conflicts easily escalate," the expert said.
Experts believe that frank and unified exchange in childcare is an important factor to limit conflicts between generations.
When there is mutual understanding and respect, grandparents will no longer be reluctant nannies and children will also benefit from the full love of the whole family," expert Mai Ngoc Quyen emphasized.
