I apologize to you, I blamed you for the mistake - that seemingly simple saying is extremely difficult to convey to many parents. In Asian culture, parents are often defined as not-so-fact people, as the "supulent right" in the family. But that rigidity may be quietly digging the gap between parents and children.
being brave in making mistakes towards children is not only a good act, but also a vivid lesson in teaching children to take responsibility, live modestly and mature.
1. Sincerely apologizing - sowing personality
An apology from the heart is much more powerful than a warning. When parents admit their mistakes sincerely - without self-deprecation or blaming - children will feel respect and learn a sense of responsibility from adults.
Ms. Nguyen Thi Anh Tuyet (Thanh Hoa), mother of two children aged 6 and 9, said: "Once I was in a hurry to cry at my child because I thought he had broken the glass. Only then did we know that it was due to the wind blowing from the windows. I sat next to him and said, "Mom, I apologize for blaming you by mistake." She just kept quiet and hugged me tightly. From then on, I understood that admitting my mistakes did not make me look down on you, but made me trust you more".
Children learn very quickly. When they see their parents apologizing for their mistakes, they will also learn to admit their mistakes, not blame them, not avoid them. That is the first foundation of a mature personality.
2. Gently apologize - build a bridge of emotions
The psychology of young children is very sensitive. A gentle look, a hug with a warm apology can melt the pain caused by the harsh words before. That is a very effective way to heal, because what children need is not to be perfect adults, but to be adults who know how to love and correct their mistakes.
Children need to be recognized as independent individuals. When parents apologize, it means admitting that their children have their own emotions, their own reasons, and are treated as valuable people.
generous gestures and words will open a two-way dialogue between parents and children. Connection is no longer just an order - compliance, but a trust - sharing.
3. Abandoning the parenting label - learning to become parents
Many parents admit: "I have never seen my parents apologize, so I also find it difficult to do that to my child". But that is a loop that our generation can - and needs - proactively stop.
No one is born knowing how to be a parent. In the process of raising children, adults themselves have to learn, make mistakes, and adjust. Teaching children is also a self-education process.
When your child makes a mistake, the first thing parents should do is ask themselves: Have I conveyed this clearly enough? Have I ever set an example for my child in a similar situation? Many times, a child's stubbornness is just an example of parents' authoritarianism or impatience.
Be willing to admit that your shortcomings do not reduce your position as parents, but on the contrary, help parents become more reputable and have a deeper influence.
Teaching children to apologize is an important lesson. But to teach that, it is the parents themselves who must be the pioneers in practice. When parents know how to bow to the truth, know how to apologize when they hurt others, children will naturally learn kindness and compassion.
Boldly feeling bad towards your children is not a sign of weakness, but a quality of people who are truly strong and mature. And from there, we not only nurture a good child, but also sow the seeds for a citizen who knows how to love, take responsibility and live ethically in the future.
