Praise and mirror

Việt Văn |

I have an extremely humble friend, at least he always says so to himself. Every time he posts photos online, he attaches the status line: "Photos taken randomly, don't praise them." Then 5 minutes later, when someone commented "Too beautiful. The photo is very emotional", he continued "You are too much". And so until the 10th comment, he still persistently denied it but absolutely did not miss a compliment without responding.

If he really refused the aura, perhaps he would have gone to sleep from the second comment. Usually, people always maintain a relationship full of contradictions with praise, craving but reluctant to admit, thereby giving rise to social rituals. When someone praises "The writing is so good!", the author immediately humbly says "Just writing for fun" and then quietly sends the link to five other friends. The praise is like a dessert after a meal.

A well-known writer once coldly commented that many people praise just to be praised back, but refusing praise is actually a subtle way to hear praise again. At a class reunion, a girl wearing a trendy dyed hairstyle just sat down for five minutes and asked: "Does my hair look strange?" Everyone said "No, it's beautiful", she smiled brightly, then 10 minutes later wondered again: "Really? Is dyeing like this too much for old age?" The whole group reassuringly said no.

20 minutes later, she continued: "Or should I dye it dark again?" At this point, everyone understood, she didn't ask to get information, but asked to harvest affirmations. It's a common psychological manipulation technique, not showing off directly, but showing off indirectly, showing off by pretending to criticize herself. Like "You're too fat", "This shirt is really ugly", "I'm old", and if the person opposite is sophisticated enough, they will automatically activate the next part of the script with the sentences "It's not there", "It still looks beautiful", to complete the play.

Deep beneath that vanity is the core human need to be recognized. Everyone shares a desire to see themselves as valuable in the eyes of others. The problem is only really painful when praise turns into the only source of energy to nurture self-esteem. And the mirror of the world begins to shape your spiritual face.

The more he lived, the more he realized that praise is like salt in food. There is richness, but no one lives by eating salt. Adults are not immune to praise, but are people who know how to smile and accept but are not dependent, grateful when recognized but not losing themselves when forgotten. Because at some point in life, the most important thing is no longer how much the world praises you, but when facing the mirror, do you still respect the person who is looking back at you or not.

Việt Văn
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