Born in “hell”
I was born in hell. No kidding. For those of my European friends who don't know, the slum where I grew up in Sao Paulo is actually called Inferninho - “little hell”. If you really want to understand me, you have to understand where I come from. My history. My origin. Inferninho.
It's a notorious place. 15 steps from our door, there are always drug dealers exchanging hand-to-hand. The smell is constant outside the window. In fact, one of my earliest memories is of my dad standing up one Sunday and yelling at those guys to go away and leave us alone, because his kids were in the house watching the football game . stone .
We're so used to seeing guns that it's not even scary. They are just part of everyday life. We are more afraid of the police knocking on our door. One time, they broke into our house looking for someone and ran screaming. Of course they found nothing. But when you're so young, those moments label you.
Man, there are some things I've seen... Only those who have experienced it can understand. On my way to school one morning, when I was about 8 - 9 years old, I happened to see a man lying in the alley. Didn't move at all. When I got closer, I realized he was dead. In the slums, you become numb to these things. There was no other way to go and I had to go to school. So I just closed my eyes and jumped over the corpse.
The ball is a savior
I'm not saying this sounds difficult. That's just my reality. In fact, I always said that as a child I was very lucky, because against all odds, I was given a gift from heaven. The ball is my savior. My love from the cradle. At “Inferninho” we don't care about toys for Christmas. Any ball that rolls is perfect for us.
Every day, my brother takes me to the square to play football. In the slums, everyone plays. Children, the elderly, teachers, construction workers, bus drivers, drug dealers, gangsters. There, everyone is equal. In my father's time, it was a dirt yard. In my day, it was asphalt. At first I played barefoot and my feet bled. We don't have money to buy suitable shoes.
I was young but I dribbled the ball with a will from God. Dribbling has always been something inside me, a natural instinct. And I don't bow to anyone. I screwed over drug dealers. Pick up the ball before the drivers. Shame the thieves. I do not really care. With the ball at my feet, I'm not afraid.
First dream
I learned all the tricks from legends Ronaldinho, Neymar, Cristiano. I used to watch them on YouTube thanks to my neighbor "uncle" Toniolo. He is a good person. There's something people don't understand about slums. For every person who does bad things, there are 2 people who do good things. I always say I grew up in the wrong place, but with the right people. When I was 8 years old, I was playing in the square when the first angel passed by me. This older person watched me perform techniques in front of the gangsters like a crazy bastard.
It was Gremio's Director, Barueri. He gave me my first opportunity to leave the slums and play for their Futsal team. So I started dreaming. I remember one day, I was walking with my mother and saw a cool red car drive by. It's a Range Rover. But to me, it's like seeing a Ferrari. I turned to my mother and said: "One day, when I become a soccer player, I will buy that car." She laughed, of course. I'm serious.
Back then, I often slept in the bed between my parents. We don't have money to buy my own bed. We are very close and that is what keeps us alive. Then something happened that changed my life. When I was 11 years old, my parents separated. It was the most difficult time in my life. I can no longer lie in the middle, can no longer see my mother because she is gone. It was devastating but it also gave me a lot of motivation. I often close my eyes and think, “I will get out of this.”
If you talk to the media, they always ask about dreams. Champions League? World Cup? Golden Ball? Those are not dreams. Those are the goals. My only dream is to get my parents out of the slums. There is no plan B. I will try to make it happen or die.
When I was 14 years old, I had an opportunity at Sao Paulo FC. Every day after school, I went to the academy on an empty stomach. Sometimes, if it's a nice day, my teammates and I will pool money to buy a cake on the way to catch the bus home. I don't have to pretend to crave motivation. Hunger is real.
Strength from the streets
Inside me there is a strength - one could say anger. I have some problems with my emotions. Three different times, I almost got kicked out of the club. Name on liquidation list. And three different times, someone at the club supported me. They begged to keep me. That is God's plan.
I'm very skinny but always play with "fire in my eyes". This is the kind of intensity that comes from the streets. You cannot fake it. People thought I was lying, but even after I made my professional debut for Sao Paulo, I still lived in the slums. This is the truth, at 18 years old, I still slept with my dad. We have no other choice. In 2019, after scoring a goal against Corinthians in the Paulista final, I returned, people didn't believe I lived there.
A year later, I went to Ajax, playing in the Champions League. That's how quickly things change. Not only do I have my own bed, but I also have a red Range Rover. When I was 10 years old, I told her that and she laughed. And now, my mother cries.
I went from the slums to Ajax to Manchester United in three years. People always ask me how I can “turn the key” so quickly. To be honest, it's because I don't feel pressure on the football field. Not fear. Scared? What is fear? When you grow up having to jump over dead bodies just to get to school, you can't be afraid of anything in football. The things I saw, most football experts can only imagine. There are things you cannot see.
In life, we suffer enough, worry enough, cry enough. What about in football? With a ball at your feet, you should just feel happy. I was born a dribbler. It is part of my roots. It was the gift that took me from the slums to the Theater of Dreams. I will never change the way I play, because it's not my style, it's me.
It is a part of me. Part of our story as Brazilians. If you just watch a 10 second clip you won't understand. Nothing I do is a joke. Everything has a purpose. Move forward boldly, attack your opponent's fears, create space, make a difference for the home team.
Gift from heaven
Even if you were born in hell, it's still a small gift from heaven. In Europe, where there is bread on the table every night, people sometimes forget that football is a game. A beautiful game, but still a game. New life is serious, at least for those of us born into our little hells of the world.
I always say that wherever I go in life, no matter what happens to me, I represent the place that taught me everything. Without my homeland and my people, none of what is now possible. On my shoes, before every match, I write a small reminder for myself: "Slum Area".
As I tied my shoelaces, I remembered. I remember everything. This is my story. If you still don't understand me or if you still think I'm a clown then I'll point to the ink on my arm... Anyone who comes from the slums knows a little about what I went through via.
