Talking to psychologist To Nhi A (lecturer at Ho Chi Minh City Central Pedagogical College), Ms. B said that before getting married, she always felt the openness and closeness that her husband's family had for her.
After a long time without a baby, Ms. B only thought that "the baby was given by heaven" so she did not go to the doctor for treatment.
As for her mother-in-law, she always became content with harsh words: "A toxic tree is not bad, a toxic woman is not good". She was always resentful and almost wanted to kick Ms. B out of the house. After that, Ms. B went to the doctor and found out she was "unborn". Knowing the story, her husband advised her to travel for a week to avoid being attracted. When she returned, her mother-in-law also knew that she was unable to give birth. She slapped her and repeatedly used harsh words, thinking that Ms. B had defrauded her family.
Suffering too much damage, Ms. B wanted to give up, but because her husband advised her to stop her, she continued to stay. Both Ms. B and her husband tried every way to have a child but had an abortion once and the two always lived in a family atmosphere that was extremely " suffocating" with their mother-in-law.
Facing the despolitical actions of their mother-in-law, the couple still love each other. Ms. B's husband also spoke up to defend his wife all the time.
After 4 years, Ms. B and her husband decided to move out alone and continue to face the times her mother-in-law comes to their house to get them to sign a divorce papers or make phone calls to curse and scold them. Currently, Ms. B only hopes to receive sympathy from her mother-in-law.
After listening to the story, Dr. To Nhi A analyzed: Your husband is the first son and you also recognize your mother-in-law as a person who cares about the cultural region where you respect men, your children and grandchildren, and follow the road as a form of pride. When the two have no children and the cause does not come from her son, it is not easy for her to accept a daughter-in-law.
The female doctor analyzed that in every marriage, the first years were love, but then to prevent emotions from being saturated, a baby had to be born. When Ms. B was still concerned about the impact of her mother-in-law as at present, the bond between her and her husband was not healthy. Ms. B herself is not happy, so this marriage will not be happy.
Dr. To Nhi A advised Ms. B: Love yourself and accept that in this life, you do not have the natural fate to be a mother. Because you are defining it as disadvantage, weakness, every decision you make feels heartbreaking, staying or not being done, not daring to leave. Now there is only one button, you are normalizing your body, this is not a sin, a profession but simply each person has a unique characteristic. Take time to dialogue with your body first, then the departure or stay will have results."
