Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First, points out the most common problems men often encounter when trying to attract women - and more effective ways to behave.
Here are four misconceptions that should be abandoned immediately, according to Muscle and Fiitness.
misunderstanding: Women like proactive men
Many people believe that they must be strong, always proactive in everything.
Sometimes on dates, men feel they need to take the initiative from choosing a place to eat to how to talk, Kerner says.
But there is a big difference between choosing a great location and knowing how to create fun - with always trying to show off or throat everything you do and say.
What women really want: A good person and knowing how to treat others. The way you talk to a waiter or driver clearly shows respect and compassion - factors that have a strong attraction.
treating a service worker or technology driver well shows that you are sympathetic and respectful, Kerner says.
misunderstanding: Women like humorous men
The tension during the first date caused many men to speak continuously, trying to make tricks to fill the void. Although humor is a plus point, turning appointments into comedy performances is not a way to create connections.
What women really want: A dialogue, not monologue, says expert Kerner.
Take a deep breath, focus on what she is saying and ask questions. New research shows that women are more attracted to men who are listening, calm and understanding.
In a small study in Australia, researchers found that men with high calmness were less angry, listened more closely, sympathized more, and paid more attention to the person sitting in front of them during a speed date.
Myth: Women date and get married
It is easy to think that women are planned for serious relationships. Many men mistakenly thought that any woman going out to dinner with them was aiming for an engagement ring.
What she really wants: Depends on each person. She may want a serious relationship - but she may just want a short-term adventure. A recent study published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior shows that the likelihood of men and women being willing to be intimate is equal, if comfortable enough. So let's put aside prejudices, enjoy the appointment and let things go naturally.
misconception: Men must be perfect in pillowcase
Many men think that they must be just like an adult film actor: lasting for a long time, changing many postures and not making mistakes. This only added to the pressure on both of them.
What Women really Want: Connection and slow pace.
Its probably true to sex, says expert Kerner. Instead of trying to perform, focus on your bodies, the scent, image, sound - and the other person's feelings.
