Ms. Nguyen Thi Thu (31 years old, Hanoi - character name has been changed) and her lover have been in love since they were about to graduate from university.
After nearly ten years together, they once thought that just affection was enough: He is psychological, I also know things. For 9 years, we have barely argued. When we live together, we see that sometimes stability is just not in real life".
After a year together, everything started to change. He went home from work and lay on his stomach waiting for food. The clothes were left unchanged.
After giving many comments, he started sharing housework, even knowing how to go to the market, choose vegetables, choose meat.
I think he has changed. But then his mother went out, everything returned to the way it was, she said.
According to Ms. Thu, the mother who lives in the countryside, the concept of "men don't have to touch the housework." Since her arrival, he has been almost unable to do anything. When she returned, that habit remained the same.
Once when he returned to his hometown to attend a death anniversary, she and everyone else washed dishes, listened to the teachers and sponsors praise him as "a good nephew, making money but still working hard at housework".
His mother proudly said: "The good N, who among men earns tens of millions a month but still washes dishes? The autumn is as happy as a rat eating rice, the bowl is golden brown.
She just laughed and replied gently: "My father and I are retired officials, but we still wash dishes, go to the market and on occasions like Tet or death anniversary, we are mainly the father and brother, and the mother and sister-in-law are only in charge of light work."
The words made his mother angry: "The daughter-in-law letting her father wash the dishes is lazy and lazy. I taught them again later. Mr. N. banned it from being done.
On the way back, she talked directly to him. He said: "Mom, you're right. I work to make money, but I am just helping her with housework. The housework belongs to women.
After a few days together, she realized that if she had to convince her lover that "throwing garbage is not helping anyone, but living a clean life for herself", perhaps, they would not think about marriage in the same way.
"Not sudden, but I feel that I am no longer in love like before. Only by living together can we clearly see the difference. 9-year love is not enough to patch the gap in old concepts, she said.
At the age of 31, she chose to return to single life.
"31 is not yet called a lack. It was better to choose to rush and marry the wrong husband. I choose to live a decent, independent and peaceful life," she laughed slightly, hung over the computer, and finished work that day to prepare for the yoga class I just registered for.
In another corner, Bui Hong Minh (born in 1998, from Phu Tho) is currently the manager of a private clinic in Ho Chi Minh City, living a life that she calls peaceful in initiative.
Income of 80-90 million VND/month, a dream number for many young people, but Minh does not consider it a measure of happiness.
I find it suitable for the pace of life here, dynamic, has many opportunities and also many challenges, she shared.
Every month, Minh sends his mother 10-20 million VND, and on special occasions, he gives them gifts on their own.
I dont spend much, just invest in extra classes and short trips to recharge, Minh said.
Many people teased her "lazy", but Minh only laughed: "I think, as long as I work hard, love myself, be filial to my family, and live a useful life, I will immediately meet someone worthy. Every wind meets the clouds."
Minh also said that marriage is not a reward for rebellion, nor is it a safe ticket for women. Happiness is only lasting when it is built from equality and respect.
"Dumping garbage, cooking, washing dishes, that is not the standard for praising men. Those are the most basic things for a person who knows how to live with others," Minh said, smiling while announcing on Zalo that she is one of the strongest candidates for the title of excellent manager at the end of this year.
