Recently, there have been many cases of "online kidnapping", how do experts view this issue?
- In my opinion, this is an extreme but not surprising result of a chain of disruptions: From the lack of emotional education in school, the negligence in equipping life skills and digital abilities for adolescents and especially the crack in connection between family members.
The online world becomes a "space" that parents cannot fill, not because technology is too strong, but because the connection threads in many families are too weak.
So what mistakes do parents often make when managing their children when they are minors?
- Ad age is a special period, like a whirlwind of psychological and identity development. There, a child is no longer a boy who follows his parents, nor is he mature enough to make important decisions on his own.
In my experience working with hundreds of parents and students, I see many parents choosing extreme behaviors: Either controlling their children too tightly, or completely withdrawing from their children's development journey.
Excessive control, even if it comes from anxiety, often creates the opposite effect. The same goes for imposing expectations of achievements on children. From choosing a school, choosing a career, to the way of life. Many children grow up feeling "I'm never good enough" in the eyes of their parents.
At the opposite extreme, I see a large number of parents being too busy, tired, or simply believing that "the child is grown up, can take care of himself", so I have chosen to let go.
According to experts, why do many children go to the online world and virtual relationships instead of confiding in their parents?
- It is difficult to understand why today's teenagers ignore reality: They were born and raised in the digital world, with Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, Discord and emotional distribution algorithms.
Social networks, in a way, become places where they are seen, receive immediate feedback, and be the version they want.
In Vietnam, a report by UNICEF ( United Nations Children's Fund) in 2022 shows that 82% of children aged 12-13 and 93% of children aged 14-15 use the Internet every day. The Ministry of Labor, War Invalids and Social Affairs also warned that Vietnamese adolescents currently use social networks for an average of 5-7 hours per day.
These figures are not just technology statistics. They reflect a quiet but extremely harsh truth: Many are looking for joy and empathy in a world other than family!
The danger from virtual relationships is huge: Mental bullying, emotional manipulation, personal information leakage, even abuse, kidnapping and many other consequences. And more frighteningly, adults often only discover it when the condition is very serious!
So how to build a close relationship, helping children be more open to sharing more with their parents?
- I believe that, to open their hearts, parents must first learn to be present.Not a formal presence, but a real level of affection, attention and listening.
Parents should also not hesitate to share with their children about their own youth, the trials, the times they do not know what to do, the mistakes they have experienced.Children need to know that their parents are also weak and uncertain.
And the most important thing is to listen without judgment, without crowding, without speeding up conclusions.
