Reader L.T. M (in Tuyen Quang) asked: “My hometown is Tuyen Quang, I am 22 years old this year. 2 years ago, I went to Hanoi to work as a maid for a relative of my aunt. My employer is over 70 years old, very rich but only has one son with intellectual delay, this year 30 years old.
The landlords treated me very well, not considering me as a maid but as a child in the family. The landlords lived in a high-class apartment building, and the house had few people, so there was not too much work. Therefore, I worked as a maid much more leisurely than the field work in my hometown before.
I plan to work for about 3-4 years, save some capital, learn a trade, and then go back to my hometown to get married. 2 months ago, when I came home to visit, my aunt asked me if I wanted to get married in Hanoi or not. I said I would only work for a few years, have some savings, go learn a trade and then go back to my hometown to work.
Everything seemed to be over, I didn't think about it anymore. 1 month ago, in the evening after finishing cooking and cleaning, the landlady called me out to talk. She said that she left 50 million VND in the bedroom and it has now been lost. And that room, besides her and her husband, only I came in and out to clean up. The landlady said she would report to the police for investigation. The most peaceful solution was to accept her daughter-in-law.
After that, the landlady called my parents in my hometown. The landlady said that if I marry her to her son, I will become the landlady and live happily. If she doesn't report to the police, I will go to jail. Because I was afraid that the landlady would report to the police, and my parents also wanted me to escape life in my hometown, they agreed. Next month, the two families will hold a wedding. I don't want to be the landlady's daughter-in-law, but the landlady has brought the betrothal gift to my house, just waiting for the wedding day. What should I do to escape this wedding? I would like to get advice from a lawyer.
Regarding the legal issue you asked, lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited (Hanoi Bar Association) - advises as follows:
According to the provisions of Clause 1, Article 2 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014 (amended and supplemented in 2025), one of the basic principles of the marriage and family regime is "Voluntary, progressive marriage, one husband and one wife, equal husband and wife".
Article 8 of the 2014 Law on Marriage and Family (amended and supplemented in 2025) stipulates the conditions for marriage, including:
Article 8. Conditions for marriage
1. Men and women marrying each other must comply with the following conditions:
a) Men from 20 years old or older, women from 18 years old or older;
b) Marriage is decided voluntarily by men and women;
c) Not losing civil act capacity;
d) Marriage not falling into one of the cases of prohibited marriage as prescribed in points a, b, c and d, clause 2, Article 5 of this Law".
Thus, according to the provisions of law, one of the mandatory conditions when marrying is voluntary. As you presented, marrying the homeowner's son is not a wish, it is your voluntary, so you are not eligible for marriage according to regulations.
In addition, according to Clause 9, Article 3 of the Law on Marriage and Family, coercive marriage is the act of threatening, intimidating, torturing, abusing, demanding property or other acts to force others to marry against their wishes. The landlady has taken advantage of your lack of understanding, having fraudulent acts accusing you of stealing money to force you to marry her son. This is an act of coercive marriage.
The act of forced marriage by the homeowner is prohibited according to Point b, Clause 2, Article 5 of the Law on Marriage and Family.
According to the provisions of point c, clause 2, Article 59 of Decree No. 82/2020/ND-CP dated July 15, 2020 of the Government stipulating penalties for administrative violations in the field of judicial support; judicial administration; marriage and family; civil judgment enforcement; business and cooperative bankruptcy, the act of "coercive marriage" is fined from 10,000,000 VND to 20,000,000 VND.
In addition, Article 181 of the 2015 Penal Code (amended and supplemented in 2017) stipulates the crime of coercion of marriage, divorce or obstruction of voluntary, progressive marriage, obstruction of voluntary divorce as follows: "Anyone who coerces another person to marry against their will, obstructs another person from marrying or maintaining a voluntary, progressive marriage relationship or coerces or obstructs another person from divorcing by torturing, abusing, mentally intimidating, demanding property or by other means who has been administratively sanctioned for this act but still violates, shall be subject to a warning, non-custodial reform for up to 03 years or imprisonment from 03 months to 03 years".
From the above analysis, the homeowner's act of forcing you to marry her son is an act of violating the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014. This act may be administratively sanctioned with a fine of between 10,000 VND and 20,000,000 VND. Even, based on the nature, severity and consequences of the act, the violator may also be considered for the crime of coercion of marriage, divorce or obstruction of voluntary, progressive marriage, obstruction of voluntary divorce under Article 181 of the 2015 Penal Code.
To protect yourself, contact women's and children's protection organizations such as the Women's Union to have them intervene and support you. At the same time, it is necessary to report to functional agencies such as the police, commune and ward People's Committees... about the homeowner's coercive marriage act so that functional agencies can intervene and protect you.
The above is the advice of the lawyer, wishing you to soon solve your problems.
