At 7 pm, in a small house in Chiem Hoa commune, Tuyen Quang province, Mrs. Hoang Thi Dan was busy cooking rice for her nephew who was in 2nd grade. On an old wooden table, the phone was leaning waiting for a call from Bac Ninh - where the boy's mother was working as an electronics worker.
Mom is about to call, eat quickly and don't cool down," she urged. The child looked up, his eyes brightened, then bent down again to scoop small spoons of rice.
The video call only lasted a few minutes. The mother at the other end of the line took advantage of the break between shifts to ask her child a few familiar questions: "Are you well at school today? Are you listening to grandma?". The boy replied softly and then fell silent.
The story of Ms. Ma Thi Hoa's family is not uncommon in many mountainous rural areas today.
For 4 years now, she and her husband have been working far away, leaving their son to his grandmother to take care of. Every month, the couple carefully send money back to take care of their son's education and meals.
In the countryside, there is no stable job, my husband and I go to work far away just hoping that my child will be less deprived. But many times when I hear that my child is sick or see my child sad through the phone screen, I just want to quit my job and go home," Ms. Hoa said.
The most lingering concern of the young mother is not the hasty industrial meals or the cramped rented room in a foreign land, but the feeling of growing up with her child through short calls.
She remembers the time her child had a fever in the middle of the night, her grandmother alone carried her grandchild to the health station. On the other end of the line, she could only bite her lip and hear her child cry.
At that time, I realized I was making money for my child, but when my child needed it most, I was not around," she choked up.
Not only parents, but also grandfathers and grandmothers are carrying a part of their childhood with strength that has gradually dried up over the years.
Mrs. Dan is over 60 years old this year, with back pain and blurred vision, but every morning she gets up early to cook rice, take her grandchild to school, and then hurries to the gate to pick her up in the afternoon.
She said, raising a child once is already hard, now she is old and raising her grandchild from the beginning. It's hard, but I feel sorry for her, so I can't bear it.
She is well-behaved, less troublesome, but many days when she sees her friend being picked up by her parents, she stands and watches for a long time. Some days when she comes home from school, she only asks me one question:'When will mom come home to live with me, grandma?'. Hearing that is heartbreaking," she said and quickly turned away to wipe away her tears.
Sharing with PV, teacher Dang Thi Phuong - a teacher at Chiem Hoa Ethnic Minority Boarding School, Tuyen Quang - said that students living with grandparents are often more disadvantaged in terms of psychology. They are easily withdrawn, rarely share, some students have declined in their studies or are heavily dependent on phones.
Grandparents love their grandchildren very much, but the generation gap makes accompanying children not always complete. Many times, what children need most is the presence, hugs or direct encouragement from parents," this teacher shared.
From a family perspective, grandparents cannot replace parents in everything. The elderly can take care of meals, sleep, and take their grandchildren to school, but it is difficult to closely follow the psychology of children when they grow up.
Meanwhile, parents who make a living far from home always live in a state of debt to their children. They work for their children, but it is also because of making a living that they miss the most important years of childhood.
