Wedding for 3 years but no marriage registration, do you need a divorce if you want to break up?

Reader N.B. T (in Hanoi) asked: "I have been married for 3 years now, my husband works in the same agency. Our hometown is far away, so when we got married it was quite difficult because we had to organize it in two hometowns, and then organize it in Hanoi. Busy preparing for the wedding, and busy with work, so on the day of the wedding, we still did not have time to register for marriage.

After the wedding day, we returned to work at the office. The marriage registration issue was still delayed because we could not arrange time to return to our hometown. Two months after the wedding, my husband was again assigned to a construction site in the South for 1 year, so the marriage registration continued to be suspended.

When my husband finished his working time and returned to Hanoi, I mentioned registering, but my husband kept postponing it. Several times when I returned to my hometown, I mentioned this, and my parents-in-law said, "The important thing is the wedding and both families, registration is just a formality. When you have children, go through the procedures in one go, it will save time.

For nearly 1 year now, my husband and I have had conflicts due to disagreements. Between husband and wife, there have been continuous quarrels. My husband also resigned from the agency, changed jobs. In addition, after 3 years of marriage, I still don't have children, so my mother-in-law also hints. Every time she returns to the countryside, my mother-in-law tells me that this daughter-in-law gave birth to a granddaughter, that daughter-in-law gave birth to a son, and then complains about the misery of not being able to hug the grandchild.

Marital conflicts combined with my mother-in-law's words make me feel heavily pressured. I think, just married for a few years, no children yet, but the marital relationship is already like this, it is probably difficult to be together for a long time. Now I want to divorce my husband, what procedures do I need to do? We do not have a common child and also do not have common property. I ask for advice from a lawyer.

Regarding the legal issue you asked, lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited - advises as follows:

Clause 1, Article 9 of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014 (amended and supplemented in 2025) stipulates the Registration of Marriage as follows:

“1. Marriage must be registered and carried out by a competent state agency in accordance with the provisions of this Law and the law on civil status.

Marriage not registered as prescribed in this clause has no legal value.

Thus, marriage must be registered at a competent state agency, if not registered accordingly, it has no legal value and is not counted as marriage.

You are married but have only just had a wedding, without marriage registration, then your marital relationship has not been recognized by the state. Therefore, legally, you are not husband and wife.

According to the provisions of Clause 1, Article 14 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014 (amended and supplemented in 2025) stipulating the settlement of consequences of men and women living together as husband and wife without marriage registration as follows:

“1. Men and women who meet the conditions for marriage according to the provisions of this Law living together as husband and wife without marriage registration do not give rise to rights and obligations between husband and wife. Rights and obligations to children, property, obligations and contracts between parties are resolved according to the provisions of Articles 15 and 16 of this Law”.

According to the above regulations, you two live together as husband and wife but do not register your marriage, so it does not give rise to rights and obligations between husband and wife.

On the other hand, you two do not have a common child, do not have common property, so there are no rights or obligations for children or common property.

From the above analysis, you are not husband and wife according to the provisions of law, so you can completely leave the person you call your current husband without having to carry out any procedures at a competent state agency.

Above are the lawyer's advice. Hope to help you solve your problems.