Many parents think that children "say a few words and then forget", but the truth is that adult words can become a mark in their children's minds for many years. There are children who were once very bold, liked to explore, dared to challenge themselves. But after only a few times being scolded, criticized, compared... children begin to withdraw, fear mistakes, fear failure and gradually lose courage.
More sadly, what hurts children often comes from the people they trust most.
When parents unintentionally "extinguish" their children's courage
A sentence like "Whatever you do is ruined", "Don't be pretentious anymore", "Look at that friend and learn" can make children feel inferior. Children not only listen with their ears, but also remember with emotions. And when emotions are repeatedly hurt, children will form the thought that they are not good enough to try, not good enough to be loved.
Many parents have no bad intentions. But in anger, words become weapons. Children are not strong enough to resist, only knowing how to silently endure.
Your courage doesn't go away immediately
It gradually disappeared little by little. I started to be afraid to speak, not daring to ask questions, afraid of doing wrong, afraid of being laughed at. I avoided trying new things because I thought "doing it doesn't get praised either". I chose the safe way of being silent and standing aside.
According to experts, children need to be properly encouraged to develop confidence and the ability to face challenges. When parents' words are only negative and blameful, children are prone to prolonged inferiority complex.
What should parents say to keep courage for their children
Instead of saying "I did wrong", try "It's okay, let's do it again".
Instead of "I'm not as good as anyone", say "I'm improving day by day".
Instead of "Don't cry anymore", say "Parents understand I'm sad".
Those words do not make me weak, but help me to be strong enough to stand up.
Because for young children, courage is not something naturally available, but something nurtured from the trusting eyes and warm words of parents every day.
