Opposing is not out of hate, but out of fear of hurting others
In many families, getting married is not just a matter of two people in love. Her parents, siblings, and even relatives all have a voice. When they object, it is often not hate, but anxiety, sometimes exaggerated about your future.
Most parents object because they feel uneasy: they are afraid of their children making the wrong choice, afraid of broken marriages and afraid of being helpless in the face of their childrens grief, says Dr. Adele Morgan, a family psychologist at Monash University (Australia).
The problem is: their protective feelings collide with your desire for happiness. The tension arose when both sides believed that they were absolutely right. If you react with anger or obstinacy, family relationships are prone to cracks, and love is also under unnecessary pressure.
Dialogue to remove bottlenecks, not let everything explode on its own
The best way is not to fight, but to open dialogue. You need to clearly understand what makes the family worried: the other person's work? Character? The situation? Or is it just age and regional prejudice? Only when you know the real reason can you handle the problem correctly.
Dr. Michael Torres, a behavioral behavior researcher at the University of Washington (USA), emphasized: "Couples who are able to converse frankly with both families have a twice as much chance of maintaining a relationship as avoidance groups".
Arrange a conversation long enough, where you listen to more than argue. If your lover is willing to participate in the dialogue, show respect and seriousness, the family will worry less. Conversely, if their reaction makes the problem more tense, it is also an important signal for you to look back on your level of marriage readiness.
A golden principle: persuade by action, not by argument. Teaching the family stability, courage and responsibility of the two is the strongest way to reassure them.
No matter what your final choice is, stay calm and respectful, as marriage is your future, but family is where you always return to.
