When a man is passive in family finances
Mr. Pham Nhat Minh (32 years old, Hanoi) said that since getting married, all of his salary has been transferred to a joint account managed by his wife.
At first, he found this reasonable because his wife was skillful and knew how to calculate. But gradually, for every personal expenses, from buying clothes to meeting friends, he had to ask for permission or an explanation.
"Sometimes I just want to buy a small item for myself but have to consider it for a long time. I feel like an dependent, even though I still work and have income, I don't have any decisions in the family," Mr. Minh shared.
Similarly, Mr. Nguyen Nhat Hoang (35 years old, Hanoi) said that his wife kept all the money because she thought his job was unstable. All big and small financial decisions are made by his wife.
"At first, I was silent to keep my house quiet, but the later it got, the more I felt pressured, confused and shy about sharing. There are times when I am stressed and insomnia, but I don't know who to tell," said Mr. Hoang.
When financial management becomes too tight, lacking communication, the person "the husband feels" is being followed and "loses the right to decide".
If negative emotions persist, they can lead to stress, mild psychological disorders and especially create distance in the relationship.
When money puts pressure, couples should sit back and listen to each other
According to psychologist Tran Thi Huong - NHC Vietnam Center for Psychology and Human Development, in such situations, communication is the most important key to relieve stress.
Whether husband or wife, when feeling uncomfortable about finances, both should find a way to sit together, communicate clearly and specifically. The communication here is not about arguing about who is right or who is wrong, but about sharing real emotions, expressing your thoughts and feelings," the expert emphasized.
Expert Tran Thi Huong believes that couples should choose the right person to talk to; avoid talking when they are struggling or under pressure. Expressing emotions calmly will help the other person understand that the problem is not money, but the feeling of respect and companionship.
'In the context of many economic fluctuations, financial transparency is necessary. However, transparency does not mean absolute control. When this threshold is overcome, finance can become the silent cause of happiness erosion, the expert emphasized.
A sustainable family not only needs to manage money well, but also needs understanding, sharing and mutual respect in all common decisions.
