Where men have the right to cry
Forget the score in the corner of the screen. The image of Inter Milan fans in pain until they were apart was shown on international television - right when the team was preparing to take a meaningless corner kick in the 76th minute - recounted the entire story of the Champions League final. Depression and broken, his lips are turned, tears flowing unstoppable. At the other end of the pitch, Paris Saint-Germain just scored their fourth goal. With that man, the world had just collapsed.
It is difficult to explain to non-football lovers why we are so immersed and addicted to this sport that there are behaviors that in any other public space would be considered strange: crying and exulting (for fun as well as for sadness), hugging strangers or shouting vulgar words just for a seemingly harmless situation.
Football, in itself, is a form of escape reality - where people temporarily forget all the hardships of daily life to completely immerse themselves in it, whether in joy or suffering. Its an emotional release experience, said therapist Sally Senior, men are rarely allowed to express their emotions. But in football, they are allowed - and no one will judge them. Everyone has the same feeling. They can curse - use words they normally never speak. Football is a safe place, a special space for men to relax".
This message echoes from another image, also in Munich. With less than 2 minutes left in the match, the camera caught PSG assistant coach Rafel Pol Cabanellas crying on the sidelines. He lost his wife to a serious illness in November last year.
Whether or not there is a heartbreaking personal story, the ability to evoke emotions in football is truly extraordinary. This sport contains our hope and fear, playing with emotions like nothing else in life - and at the same time, being the abiding place of the soul. Most recently, people saw Cristiano Ronaldo at the age of 40 fall into a deadlock when the Portuguese team won the UEFA Nations League. Tears of happiness.
1 minute 24 seconds and a lifetime
A short 1-minute, 24-second video, filmed at Wembley on the day of the FA Cup final, recorded many tears. The final whistle blew after 10 minutes of extra time. Crystal Palace beat Manchester City 1-0 for the first time in 164 years of hard work, winning a major trophy in history. ESPN Brazil reporter Joao Castelo-Branco in England left the working area at the right time to return to the Palace fan scene.
It is not enough to describe that scene with the word "celebrating". It is authentic, magical, and touching. It warms the heart - football, a sport that seems like nothing but can be everything, reaching the depths of human soul.
That moment was special, Castelo-Branco smiled. Especially to the point where you want to look back, look at each face - both male and female, young and old - and wonder what story each person has behind their deep attachment to Crystal Palace, and why is that moment so meaningful?
I film while trying to stay emotional, Castelo-Branco said, Every corner of the filming is a beautiful frame of emotions. The first couple appeared, the woman burst into tears in the man's arms as if she had followed Palace all her life. His eyes are red.
Behind them, an elderly man stood holding his hand up to the sky, remaining silent in emotion. Many people took towels to wip their tears. Some people fell down and cried. Another person - possibly the father - hugged and sang together. Tears are everywhere, but tears of happiness. The special thing is that almost no one is using their phones to film, Castelo-Branco said, They are really living in that moment.
Tears are no longer a banned thing
Not just Palace. A few days later, in Bilbao, Tottenham fans were also immersed in emotions when their team defeated Manchester United to win the Europa League. A few months before, it was Newcastle when they beat Liverpool in the Carabao Cup final. Without having to wait a century to win the title, emotions still rise. Gary Pickles recalled the moment in 2019 when he was at Brighton, witnessing Man City preparing to win the Premier League for the fourth time in eight years. While filming, he paused when he saw his son Niall crying, holding his head tightly.
She cried. Although he was a 25-year-old man, no longer a child, that moment made him burst into tears, Pickles, who has followed City since the 1970s, shared: It was before COVID-19. But after the pandemic, when mental health issues were mentioned more often, men gradually became more comfortable expressing their emotions."
Looking back in the past, an article in BBC in 2004 published a photo of Paul Gascoigne burst into tears at the 1990 World Cup and quoted a psychologist as saying: Many men know more about how to structure cars than they know their own feelings. 20 years later, that saying is even more valuable. Men have changed a lot, Baker asserted, In the past, if there were emotions, it was usually just anger. There are women-like stories that are afraid of their husbands coming home after the team loses. But now men are ready and capable of expressing more emotions. The rate of men coming to therapy has skyrocketed. In the past, it was 1 male out of 9 females. Now it's almost the same. They want to discover themselves, find out what makes them them them.
Of course, it is not now that men know how to cry for football. Reporter Amy Lawrence recalled the time in 1989, when Arsenal beat Liverpool at Anfield to win the championship. She was separated from her friends in the midst of a rising crowd, and stood next to a big man with aighted,ight-headed, tattooed head - a typical image of hooligan in the 1980s. He cried like a child. Tears rolled down on her cheeks. An image I will never forget.
leaving leaving behind behindinger Allman, who was just 11 years old when Leeds United were relegated in 2004. The boy was bare, writing the words "Leeds Til I Die" on his chest, and burst into tears in the 1-4 loss at Bolton. "My mouth is full. An uncontrollable way of crying, Allman recalled. His mother, Beverley, was watching TV at home and cried.
Many Palace fans were the same, crying all week after the win. For writer Kevin Day - a loyal fan, that burst of tears seep into every moment of life. When the referee blew the whistle, I couldnt say a word. Looking around, I was the only one who had not cried. My friends - all are resilient, never cry - all burst into tears. I have never seen such a great joy!
The next morning, my son - 29 years old - ran to hug me as tightly as when he was 5 years old. It cried like rain. On Monday morning, I went into the Co-op to buy milk, and suddenly burst into tears in the middle of the stall. I thought: "The last time I stood here, Palace still haven't won the FA Cup."
The memory of a deceased loved one, unable to witness a historic moment, is also what makes emotions surge - like assistant Rafel Pol Cabanellas in Munich. It could be you, grandma, parents - the ones who planted the seeds of the love of football. For Day, that was his late father - who always called after every match to discuss together. That Saturday night, whoever I talked to was someone they wish they could call to share, he said. There must be up to 3 million Palace fans watching from heaven. I really believe that the posters in bars across South London over the years - about "telling nothing wrong with emotions" - have been effective.
Men today are starting to believe that expressing emotions is normal. Or maybe, when something that has been awaited for the last 120 years finally happens... all the emotions burst out. I don't know anymore. But just think back, I got goosebumps.
