Ms. Nhung, a teacher at a large school in Hanoi, told me that before the exam papers were distributed, while the little girl going to the exam was still calmly chatting with friends, the mother outside the school gate continuously walked back and forth, her phone did not leave her hand with a tense face. Or the scene of a father seeing off his child to the exam, holding his child's hand tightly, his face smiling but heavy as if carrying worry. For many years, every exam season, a paradox has appeared. The person under the heaviest psychological pressure is sometimes not the candidate, but the parents.
That worry stems from love and legitimate desire for children to take the exam well, to have a bright future. Love often comes with expectations. And when expectations exceed limits, the child's exam inadvertently becomes a test of ability for parents themselves.
Many people stay up late and get up early with their children, anxiously before each announcement of results, even carrying heavy feelings for many weeks just because of one unsatisfactory score. In fact, what exhausts adults is not necessarily the pressure of their children's homework, but the fear of being left behind in an invisible race. When looking at "other people's children" studying more, getting higher scores, passing specialized schools and selected classes, many parents fall into psychological traps. Children's success, since when, has been turned into a measure of the face of adults.
But life does not have a single answer. An exam may be important, but it cannot determine the future. Many successful people have gone through failed exam seasons. And there is also no shortage of valedictorians who are still struggling to find a place in society later.
What students need during the exam season is trust, encouragement and even comfort and support if they unfortunately fail, and a full awareness that their self-worth is not just limited to a few numbers on the transcript.
The exam season will pass, scores will also become old news. But the feeling of being trusted or the hurt of being judged will be deeply imprinted in their memories.
In these hot June days, the important thing is not only for candidates to maintain confidence to enter the exam room, but adults also need to learn how to step out of their own race. Because sometimes, the biggest gift parents give to their children is not the pressure to succeed, but a solid support for their children to confidently go their own way.
