The pain of the British
Returning after England's defeat in the 1990 World Cup semi-finals, Stuart Pearce talked to the horses while feeding them, but also understood that they didn't care about the world that had just collapsed under his feet. 6 years later, Gareth Southgate missed the decisive penalty at EURO 96, Pearce used the story of the horses to comfort his junior. But Southgate had no pets to "talk to".
Months after that sad Wembley night, Southgate admitted that every time he lay down, the fear of people seeing him as a criminal squeezed his chest. He called the feeling of living with memories like having to carry a serious illness, or just permanently losing a loved one.
It turned out that the distance from the white dot to the goal was only 11 meters, but it was a deep abyss deep enough to bury the peace of a player's life.
Football is a team sport, where glory is shared equally and errors are often filled with cover-up. However, the penalty shootout appears as a cruelty of fate, separating the collective element so that an individual has to take the brunt. Stepping from the midfield circle to the penalty spot is likened to the most solitary journey in the world. The stadium is filled with roar from tens of thousands of spectators, but inside the shooter at that time is only the resounding heartbeat and the weight of the whole country or the length of the club's history pressing down.
There are steel men, even with a career notorious for their hack-and-slash style of play like John Terry, who also had to collapse in the muddy grass of Moscow (Russia) at night 2008. The disastrous slip-up robbed Chelsea of the Champions League trophy, and left a scar that Terry himself admitted "will haunt me until the end of my life".
4 years later, when Chelsea won the championship in Munich, it was Ivica Olic of Bayern's turn to fall into a similar situation with bitter words: "I will never forget that night". All tactical analysis, all efforts in the previous 120 minutes suddenly became meaningless. People do not remember how many kilometers he ran, how many balls he cut. They only remember his shot hitting the goalkeeper's hand or flying straight to the stands.
Still victims in England
The cruelty was repeated in Budapest, in the 2026 Champions League final. Arsenal had gone through a resilient season to set foot in Hungary. But then, all the sweat from August last year suddenly evaporated after 2 missed shots by Gabriel and Eberechi Eze.
Forget about Arsenal taking the lead, forget about PSG controlling 75% of the ball. History is a cold recorder, only saving the moment the ball from Gabriel's foot flew over the crossbar - a harsh scenario that no Gunners fan could have imagined.
Looking at Gabriel's bewildered, helplessness when covering his face with both hands, people understand that a dark chapter in his life has just opened. Declan Rice can say meaningful words, that "Without Gabriel and Eze, Arsenal could not have won the Premier League". But those words of comfort, in the end, only have the effect of soothing the crowd, but cannot soothe the fire that is burning the hearts of those involved.
Maybe many nights in the years to come, Gabriel will still wake up halfway, wondering why he doesn't put the ball a little lower.
Sports psychologist Geir Jordet once summarized the 4 stages of torture of the "shootout" series: From standing trembling in the middle of the field praying for the coach not to look at him, long, lonely steps, moments facing the goalkeeper, and finally walking back in the position of a loser. Each stage is full of torment. Sadly, people often remember the culprit for a long time but easily forget those who shared the burden.
Forgiveness and understanding
In 2016, defender Juanfran was the only one who missed, causing Atletico Madrid to lose the cup to Real Madrid. His tears fell when begging for forgiveness, reflecting the pain on the faces of thousands of fans. It helped him cope with sadness, but it was also a tragedy that if it was blamed on a missed goal in extra time, people would easily forgive it much more than standing stunned on the penalty spot.
Amidst the chaos and frantic celebration of PSG players in Budapest, there is an image that makes people ponder. Marquinhos - the captain of PSG, instead of rushing into the arms of his teammates, walked straight to Gabriel. He hugged his Brazilian compatriot, a tight and silent hug like a father comforting his child who had just made the biggest mistake in his life.
There is no arrogance of the winner. Marquinhos understands, because he is also a center-back, also once stood before that line. The hug is empathy among people who understand the price to pay for the football profession.
In the end, the penalty shootout is not a game of technique, but a test of nerve endurance. The winner has endless joy, but the loser will have to carry an invisible stone through the years. The harshness of football is that it forces feet used to running on the vast grass to learn to stand still and endure the judgment of fate in just a blink of an eye?
