That is the sleeping style of a colleague who always nods before the deadline, of a boss who believes that "the situation is still okay" even though revenue is falling, of a close friend who insists he is "still okay" in a relationship that is cracking like a 70-year-old wall. They are not just not listening, just not wanting to wake up. And if they don't want to wake up, then all calls become noise.
Once, he went for coffee with a business friend. The friend sighed and recounted: "How many times have I told this partner, the market has changed, the old method is no longer effective. But they just say let's see". He asked: "How many times have you told me?" The friend replied: "Probably a hundred times". He laughed: "Then the problem is not in the hundredth and only time". You thought for a moment, then you were silent. That silence was like the moment we realized we were knocking on the wrong door.
There is an illusion that as long as you speak enough good, enough right, enough, others will listen. Just like news, just turn on enough lights, the sleeping person will open their eyes. But in reality, many people sleep very deeply, not because they are tired, but because they choose to do so. They choose to stay in their comfort zone, where everything is familiar, even if it may be gradually rotting.
I remember in the old apartment building, the neighborhood group leader reminded everyone every day not to dump garbage indiscriminately. He spoke to the point that children in the neighborhood could memorize it. But the garbage was still dumped in the wrong place. One day, he quietly placed a flower pot in the corner that was often littered. Initially, some people still conveniently threw nylon bags into it. But a few days later, the flowers bloomed, looking beautiful, people were shy. The corner of garbage disappeared, not because of words won, but because of changing circumstances.
In online debates, people also often try to pull others towards them. Arguments sharp as knives, evidence thick as reports, tone sometimes even more "heartfelt" than a prescribing doctor. But the more they talk, the more defensive the opponent becomes. Because, when forced to listen, people do not listen to understand, but listen to resist.
Therefore, maturity is not about being better at speaking, but knowing when to stop. Stopping is not because you are wrong, but because you understand that not everyone is in a ready state. Some people need a shock, some people need a moment of silence, some people need time to hit the wall themselves. Each person has their own alarm clock and unfortunately, we do not have the right to adjust the time of others.
