Of course, it was fun, the whole group made a detailed plan of where to go, what to eat, what to visit. It was thought that there was nothing to think about.
But the problem arose when it came to the two words "costs". First, she herself proposed the cost for only one person, then calculated the number of people. Everyone agreed, it seemed like it was the optimal solution. But it wasn't that simple. Before leaving, she had to maintain her car, totaling 6 million VND. So is this amount included in the travel expenses? And the toll fees through the stations...
Your friend's story is very typical in every group trip: Usually, there is one person who takes care of everything. They find locations, book rooms, buy tickets, rent cars, and pay expenses in advance. That proactiveness helps the whole group feel much more convenient.
But when the trip ends, the person who mentions money is afraid of being considered calculating. People who have not transferred money sometimes think that "only a few hundred thousand, nothing". But behind that amount of money is not only material value. It is also fairness and respect for the person who put in effort and time to take care of it together.
One person happily paying in advance for the whole group does not mean they have to become a reminder after the trip.
Civilized behavior is to clearly agree from the beginning: Who is responsible for which amount, divide equally or divide according to usage level, transfer money as soon as possible instead of letting someone silently monitor and remind. Clarity does not lose feelings. On the contrary, it helps feelings avoid being hurt by very small things.
In many relationships, money is a sensitive issue because it makes things that are considered "uncalculable" become concrete. However, that specificity helps relationships last longer. A group of close friends can still share money for each meal. Close colleagues can still clearly agree on contributions. Family members can still be fair on joint trips.
Fairness is not cold. On the contrary, it is a way for no one to feel that they are being exploited or have to sacrifice more than others. The important thing is not that every penny is calculated absolutely accurately, but the attitude of each person towards common responsibility.
Maybe one person pays a little more because they want to invite friends. Maybe one person actively supports more because of other people's circumstances. But those things should come from voluntariness, not from one person implicitly suffering a loss.
Returning to my friend's story, the car maintenance cost was not included in the expenses of that trip, but then, she informed the group that in the next trip, maintenance and repair will be common responsibility. Everyone agreed and happily wished to continue to accompany each other on the journeys during the September 2nd holiday.
