In a relationship, it is easier to criticize and blame the other person than to look back at yourself. However, instead of looking for the other person's fault, asking the question "Is it a problem for me?" is the first step to save the situation.
Jeff Guenther, a licensed psychotherapist (LPC) in Portland (Oregon, USA), pointed out 4 signs that you can be the one who creates distance and stress in your feelings.
1. Too honest but lacking tenderness
Many people think that saying everything directly is transparent and sincere, but the truth sometimes needs to be conveyed tactfully and with thinking.
When you always say everything you think without caring about the other person's emotions, you are using words as a weapon, causing unnecessary harm.
2. Always want to be a bigger
You may be avoiding difficult conversations, suppressing emotions and personal needs to show more calmness. But that is not maturity, but acceptance of silence of sacrifice and gradually accumulating feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment.
Avoiding each other and letting things accumulate only makes the relationship more tense.
3. Passive, aggressive attitude
Being silent and pretending everything is fine when in reality it is not is just a way for you to play emotional games. You wait for the other person to realize your hurt and " trade-off", but in reality this is not a way to build a healthy boundary.
Instead of being passive and letting the other person " decode" your emotions, you should proactively share and clearly state what you need.
4. Become a thankful person
Feeling higher and doing something useful for a relationship can make you promote yourself, thereby creating an imbalance of power and distance between two people.
affection requires equality and respect, not imposition or a feeling of "gratefulness" from one side.
Understanding and identifying the above habits will help you proactively change, building a healthier and more lasting relationship.
Sometimes, the "bigger" in love is not the one who endures silently, but the one who is brave enough to admit mistakes and find a way to resolve them together.
