No one enters marriage with the intention of leaving. But in reality, many families have cracked not because of big incidents, but because of small habits that have been overlooked for too long. They crept into each other's lives, caressing in the bond until the gap became difficult to heal.
Small cracks that no one cares about
Lack of real listening: Just give up, nod, eyes are still stuck to the phone, that's how many family conversations end. According to Dr. John Gottman - Director of the Gottman Institute (USA), " indifference in communication is more dangerous than controversy, because it makes the other person feel invisible". When one of them stopped talking, the family started to lose money.
No small efforts are recorded: A meal on time, a tired working day still trying to come home early... if not recorded, those efforts gradually become a cold obligation. Simple thank you words have the power to keep marriage warm more than expensive gifts.
Bringing external pressure to relatives: work, finances, social relationships are tense, many people unconsciously spend time with their families. Dr. Jeffrey Pfeffer - Professor at Stanford University (USA) - warned that prolonged stress reduces the ability to control emotions, making people vulnerable to those closest to them.
When small things accumulate into large distances
Comparing your partner to someone else: Comparing seems harmless, but it is a skillful skill. Every time we take outsiders as the standard, family respect is eroded. No one grows up in comparisons, only the gap grows.
Lack of quality time together: Live together but not in the same. Each person has a screen, a rhythm of life. Ms. Sue Johnson - Professor of Clinical Medicine at Ottawa University ( Canada) - said: "Connecting emotions is weakened when couples lose regular, even very short moments of intimacy". Limited but complete time is more precious than many hours spent together in silence.
Maintain the family with very small things: A strong family is not thanks to big swearing, but thanks to the way we treat each other in the most normal moments. Realizing that "tiny things" are hurting each other early is the way to preserve love for a long time.
Don't wait until the gap is too long to regret the things that could have been fixed with a simple ask, a hug, or a complete listen.
