The wedding day is also the time when many young women begin a completely new journey.
From a house that has been attached for decades, they enter a different family with lifestyles, behaviors and principles that have been formed for a long time.
That difference easily becomes an invisible pressure in the early years of being a daughter-in-law.
More than a year after the wedding, Ms. Nguyen Thi Huong (26 years old, from Tuyen Quang) still remembers the feeling of bewilderment when she first officially became a member of her husband's family in Hanoi.
Before getting married, every time she came to visit, she was always a guest. Everyone was welcoming and comfortable, the conversations only revolved around the young couple.
But when she became a daughter-in-law, she began to realize that she was no longer someone who came to visit, but had become a part of the family. Every word, behavior or decision in daily life made her consider more.
The thing that puts the most pressure on me is not housework, but the feeling that I am always afraid of doing things wrong.
There are rules in my husband's family that no one says in words, but everyone naturally follows them. I spent quite a lot of time observing and adjusting myself," Ms. Huong shared.
Born into a highland family with a fairly open way of expressing feelings, Ms. Huong is used to expressing her thoughts as soon as there is a problem.
Meanwhile, her husband's family rarely speaks frankly. People choose to maintain harmony, many things are only given gentle advice or left for each person to see.
That difference once made her feel sorry for herself many times. At one point, she thought she was not welcomed, just because she no longer received the care and inquiries like when they were in love.
Later, she realized that when they became one family, the way people expressed their feelings was also different.
Meanwhile, Ms. Le Minh Anh (28 years old, from Can Tho) experienced a bigger shock when she moved to the North to live after getting married.
Difficulties in climate, communication and culture make her feel like she is always outsiders.
The stories of her husband's family revolve around relatives, villagers, and relationships that have been close for many years, making it difficult for her to integrate.
I miss home very much. There are days after work, I just want to call my mother and cry. Everyone in my husband's family does not treat me badly, but the feeling of being a stranger still makes me lonely," Ms. Minh Anh recounted.
The pressure is even greater when she always reminds herself to become a standard daughter-in-law.
She tried to do everything meticulously, limiting expressing emotions because she was afraid of being judged as weak or not knowing how to integrate. It was this straining that made Ms. Minh Anh fall into a state of fatigue for many months.
I realize that what I need is not to try to become someone else to please everyone, but to have time to adapt and have someone to accompany me in the process," Ms. Minh Anh said.
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc - Nhan Hoa Viet Psychological Counseling and Therapy Center, the early years of marriage are a period when many women face adaptive pressure when leaving their family to start a new life.
Therefore, the husband needs to become a bridge between his wife and family members. At the same time, the woman should also actively share emotions, maintain bonding with her family and respect differences in lifestyle so that the journey of becoming a daughter-in-law becomes lighter.
