Silent victims in the cycle of domestic violence
Domestic violence is not only physical damage, but also a simmering mental pain that has lasted for many years. Behind each violence is a process of conflict, pressure and the silence of those around them.
Ms. Nguyen Khanh Huyen (32 years old, Hanoi) once thought that as long as she tried to endure, the family would be at peace. However, since her husband was unemployed, the financial pressure has caused him to often get angry.
'' At first it was just curses, then there were slaps and punches whenever I mentioned my child's living expenses or tuition. I don't dare to tell anyone because I'm afraid of being scandalous," Ms. Khanh Huyen shared.
It was only when she was hospitalized for serious injuries that her neighbor discovered her story.
Another case is Ms. Linh Ngoc (36 years old, self-employed in Hanoi). In the eyes of friends, her family is also a model home, a successful couple. But behind that appearance are prolonged beatings and mental violence.
''My husband often controls, prohibits communication, questions each relationship, each message. The blind jealousy times made him smash furniture, threaten and assault made his life very difficult, Ms. Linh Ngoc said chokingly.
The two stories, two different situations, but both show domestic violence regardless of age, occupation or standard of living. The common point is the accumulation of prolonged conflicts and the lack of timely support from the outside.
The underlying cause and great role of the community
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc - Nhan Hoa Viet Psychotherapy and Counseling Center, conflicts in married life between couples are inevitable, the cause originates from three main groups of causes.
''First is economics - finance. Pressure about income, expenses, and debt can easily make couples stressed. Second is communication and listening expectations. When two people lack the skills to listen and do not express their emotions properly, expectations of difference will accumulate into conflicts, the expert said.
And finally, the cause is no less important than life values and personal emotions.
" Factors such as past hurtness, jealousy, feeling abandoned or feeling disrespected can all explode into conflict," said expert Mai Viet Duc.
According to experts, such a family tragedy often does not happen in "an early evening". Therefore, relationships such as family, neighbors, and friends all play a very important role in preventing social violence.
'' Relatives should listen, share, and encourage couples so that they do not fall into a state of being alone in marriage. When neighbors and friends see signs of violence, they should also promptly speak up because silence can unintentionally be an accomplice of violence'', the expert emphasized.
On the social community side, conflict resolution skills should also be built systematically, in addition to having easy-to-reach family marriage counseling services.
