Holidays become pressure when husband and wife take care of children together
Prolonged holidays, instead of resting, many couples have to struggle with eating, playing, sleeping and taking care of children. When they cannot agree on who does what, this person easily feels that they are burdened with more work.
Ms. Nguyen Trang Thao (24 years old, Phu Tho) said that every holiday, her family often spends time taking 2 children out to play. However, taking care of children all day makes husband and wife easily tired.
Going out is fun, but sometimes when I get home, I still have to bathe my child, prepare things, worry about eating and sleeping hours. Meanwhile, my husband thinks he has driven and taken the whole family out all day, so he also needs to rest. Therefore, it is very easy for husband and wife to argue with each other," Ms. Minh Anh shared.
Similarly, Mr. Hoang Nam (35 years old, Hanoi) believes that conflicts often arise when both have a need to take leave but have not agreed on how to share childcare.
“Sometimes I thought my wife was at home so she would take the initiative to take care of the children, but my wife thought I was on holiday so I had to take care of the children with her. No one explained clearly from the beginning, so in the end both of us felt tired and easily blamed each other,” said Mr. Hoang Nam.
How husband and wife take care of children together without getting tired
According to psychologist Hoang Thi Ngoc Duyen (Director of the Center for Psychology and Human Development of NHC Vietnam - Hoang Hoa Tham Branch), to avoid conflict, first husband and wife need to agree that taking care of children is a common responsibility, and resting on holidays is also a legitimate need of both.
It is not advisable to assume that one person has the right to retire, while the other must continuously be in a state of being ready to take care of the family," psychologist Hoang Thi Ngoc Duyen said.
According to experts, the division of work does not necessarily have to be rigid in a 50-50 ratio. Fairness needs to be based on the circumstances, health, ability and actual needs of each person. At times, one person can take on more, but it needs to come from unity and voluntariness.
Before the holiday, husband and wife can spend a few minutes to agree on three issues: things to do, each person's need for rest and time for family.
Besides the time to take care of the child together, each person should have a separate and clearly defined period of time. When it is one person's turn to rest, the other person actually takes responsibility instead of both taking care of the child and constantly calling the other person for support," the expert analyzed.
For families with grown-up children, parents can also guide children to do appropriate things such as arranging toys themselves, preparing clothes or supporting some simple tasks. According to experts, this is not pushing responsibility to children but helping children form self-reliance and awareness of being a family member.
Fairness in marriage is not that today I do the right five things, then you also have to do the right five things. Fairness is that both of you are aware of protecting each other's physical and mental health and rest time," the expert emphasized.
According to experts, when each person has real rest time, they will return to their children with patience and a better presence.
