Pressure to take care of young children, work and lack of sleep make many mothers easily lose control of their emotions. Scolding can help relieve immediate stress, but in the long run, it leaves psychological trauma for both mother and child. According to Psychology Today, angry reactions often originate from accumulated stress, not from the child's behavior.
Psychologists recommend that parents have "self-adjusting sentences" to cut off negative emotions before they explode. Below are 10 sentences suggested by many family therapists:
1. You don't intentionally make yourself angry.
2. You need guidance, not punishment.
3. I am an adult, I can control my emotions.
4. Scolding your child at this time will not solve the problem.
5. Take a deep breath, you can calm down.
6. You are still learning how to behave.
7. I want to teach my children, not make them afraid.
8. This emotion will pass quickly.
9. I can talk more gently.
10. Staying calm is the best gift for your child at this time.
According to Harvard Health Publishing, when parents pause for a few seconds to adjust emotions, the brain has the opportunity to switch from impulsive reactions to rational thinking. This helps significantly reduce uncontrolled scolding or punishment behaviors.
Not only beneficial for children, self-ignition also helps mothers protect their own mental health. Verywell Mind points out that feeling guilty after yelling at children is the reason why many mothers fall into a spiral of stress and blame themselves.
Raising children does not require parents to be perfect, but needs to be alert enough to correct mistakes every day. Remembering and practicing these "mantras" can help mothers gradually build a calm, safe and loving family environment for their children.
