Sharing with Lao Dong reporters, Master of Clinical Psychology Hoang Quoc Lan said that the most worrying thing now is not that everyone owns a phone, but that everyone has their own world and is increasingly rarely entering each other's world.
The reality is happening in many families where the whole family sits together to eat rice but each person holds a phone, even living in the same house but only saying a few words to each other all day.
To generalize the nature of this situation, Master Hoang Quoc Lan cited that in psychology there is a concept called emotional presence.
That is, a person may sit right next to you, but if they do not listen, do not look at you, do not talk to you, then psychologically, they are still absent.
The consequences of this happen very silently. What is scary is not the silence of a meal, but that gradually people consider that silence normal.
Adults may feel lonely right in their own families, while young children gradually have a habit of seeking sharing from social networks or friends online more than from parents.
From a media perspective, expert Tam An added that personalization algorithms on social networks are distributing completely different content for each age group, creating personal information spaces to replace the previous common space.
Parents, children, even grandparents can hold phones together but see completely different worlds on that phone.
They gradually differed in worldview, views, and lifestyles.
Expert Tam An frankly acknowledged that the biggest challenge is not the generation gap, but the decline of common experiences and perceptions, which are the foundation for forming family values.
To solve the problem of connection, both experts agree that the solution is not to ban phones or abolish all technology, because technology is not wrong.
Instead, families need to apply specific methods to build "internal communication" and understand their children.
Media expert Tam An recommends that families consider internal communication as an important skill to build their own communication culture.
Specifically, each family can proactively establish their own traditional rituals such as maintaining a meal without digital devices, spending 20 to 30 minutes before going to bed just to chat, or going for a walk together, drinking coffee, doing housework on weekends.
Ms. Tam An affirmed that the common value system is not created from viewing the same content, but from listening together after each person has accessed different contents.
From a psychological perspective, instead of checking each other's phones or social media accounts, Master Hoang Quoc Lan suggests that parents create natural conversations by proactively opening their hearts first according to the principle of sharing to be shared.
In many families, parents often ask their children how they learned today and only receive normal answers.
But if parents tell a small story about themselves in advance, such as a very funny situation at the office, then many times children will naturally open their hearts to tell their story in class.
Regarding accompanying children, especially the Alpha generation, Master Hoang Quoc Lan proposed a method to clearly distinguish between empowerment and neglect.
Accordingly, parents need to pay attention to content instead of time, clearly distinguish the different impacts when children sit in front of a computer for three hours to learn programming, foreign languages or create content with watching harmful trends.
At the same time, parents need to understand first to orient later, instead of imposing commands, they can ask their children which TikToker points they like to shift the conversation from confrontation to dialogue.
Master Hoang Quoc Lan affirmed that the goal of parents is not to control their children's phones, but to maintain connection with their children even when they are holding the phone, because this is the most important shield to protect children's mental health and personality development.
A happy family is not a family with little technology, but a family that does not let technology replace the connection between people.
