When intimacy is shared with outsiders
In modern married life, not every rift starts from physical relationships. A form of silent but more dangerous injury is becoming increasingly common: emotional dishonesty.
According to a survey by the American Academy of Family Studies, one in four married or in a romantic relationship admits to having experienced or committed emotional dishonesty. This is a form of deep, secret emotional connection with someone who is not a partner, even if there is no sexual element.
Signs of this condition are not difficult to recognize but are often overlooked. A person can spend a lot of time chatting with a "third party", constantly thinking about them, sharing private things that should only be for their partner. More worryingly, these interactions are often hidden.
According to Ms. Cherlyn Chong - a relationship and dating expert at Steps to Happyness (Singapore), "subconsciously, insiders often know that the behavior is wrong, but still continue because they find empathy that the current relationship does not bring.
She emphasized that emotional dishonesty can cause deeper hurt than physical infidelity. "Knowing that the partner has shared private secrets, placing trust in others makes the other half feel completely betrayed. They easily fall into a state of self-doubt and lose confidence," she said.
Causes from loneliness and distance in marriage
Behind each "extramarital" emotional relationship is often a lack of connection in marriage. When a person constantly feels ignored, careless or not listened to, they tend to seek outward empathy.
Prolonged dissatisfaction is also a driving force. When the relationship becomes boring and lacks novelty, some people are easily drawn into the excitement from new connections. According to Cherlyn Chong, "there are people who tend to look for new emotions because they quickly get bored and don't know how to nurture the current relationship.
In addition, controlling factors, excessive jealousy can also backfire. When a person is always suspected, they may develop resistance psychology, leading to seeking understanding elsewhere.
To prevent this situation, experts emphasize the importance of maintaining comprehensive connection in marriage, from emotions, spirit to physical. Taking time to listen, share and meet each other's needs not only helps strengthen trust but also reduces the risk of emotional "disorientation".
In addition, everyone needs to set clear boundaries in external relationships. "Choose a partner with similar values and who knows how to cherish the relationship. At the same time, each individual also needs to be aware of protecting themselves, ready to leave if no longer respected," Cherlyn Chong recommends.
In a fast and widely connected world, emotional dishonesty can start from seemingly harmless conversations. But if not identified and controlled in time, it can be a "underground crack" that causes marriage to break down from within.
