According to research published in the journal personality and Individual differenceerences, psychologists Justin K. Mogilski and Lisa LM Welling from Oakland University surveyed 861 people to find out why some people keep friends with their ex-lover.
The study consists of two parts: the first surveyed 348 people on why they maintain communication, and the second surveyed 513 people who assessed the importance of those reasons.
The results showed some negative personality traits, especially in the "dark trio" of self-consciousness, clever tricks and mental illness, related to the ability to maintain a higher friendship after a breakup.
Research identifies seven main reasons why people keep in touch with ex-lover, including: trust/emotionality, practicality (for example, they have a lot of money), continuous emotional attraction, children and property together, reduced emotional attraction, maintaining social relationships and access to sex.
While many people focus on common affection and responsibility, those who score high on negative traits tend to citate practical or manipulated reasons.
Men in particular often emphasize the material or sexual benefits of maintaining friendship with their ex-lover.
This means that some people who want to maintain friendship after a breakup are not because their emotions are not resolved, but to retain their beneficial choices, from finances, social relationships to sexual opportunities.
Therefore, when your ex-lover suggests maintaining a friendship, you should consider carefully whether it is a sincere relationship or just a purposeful calculation.
Relationships, even after an end, are often more complex than they seem. Maintaining friendship with ex-lover can come from true care or shared memories, but it can also hide the motivation of being less Forgiving.
Recognizing these psychological nuances helps us better understand how personality shapes behavior in love, loss and connection.
