In many modern families, intimacy between husband and wife is quietly receding, not noisy, not arguing, but enough to make marriage cold. People still live together, eat together, raise children together, but increasingly rarely touch each other, both physically and emotionally. Why is there this phenomenon?
Life pressure erodes love emotions
The first reason, also the most common, is life pressure. Food, clothes, house, children, money... those very real burdens do not spare anyone. When vital energy is almost completely consumed for livelihood, intimacy is often pushed to the bottom of the priority list.
Many couples fall into a state of "living together" instead of "living together". In the evening, everyone is tired, each person has a phone, a separate world. No more time to ask, no more mind to listen. Closeness is therefore gradually decreasing.
According to Dr. John Gottman, a marriage psychologist, co-founder of the Gottman Institute (USA), intimacy is not lost by lack of sex, but by lack of daily positive emotional interactions. “When couples stop chatting, stop caring about each other's emotions, distance will appear very quickly, even if they are still living under the same roof,” he emphasized.
Poor communication and incurable injuries
Another deep-seated cause is poor communication. Many couples no longer really talk to each other. They exchange work, children's school schedules, bills to pay, but avoid real emotions: sadness, self-pity, disappointment, hurt.
When not spoken out, negative emotions accumulate into distance. A heartless word, once abandoned, a betrayal of faith, even a small one... if not faced and healed, will make those involved tighten their hearts. And when emotions freeze, intimacy is also difficult to exist.
Dr. Sue Johnson, clinical psychologist, honorary professor at the University of Ottawa (Canada), said: "Privacy is the result of emotional safety. If a person no longer feels understood, they will protect themselves by withdrawing, even in married life.
In addition, the change in roles after marriage is also a noteworthy factor. When husband and wife are just parents, payers for electricity and water, and childcare partners, and forget their role as lovers and spouses, intimacy will gradually disappear. No one wants to be intimate with someone who only brings pressure and obligation.
Distance is not the end, but a warning sign. Marriage to be long-lasting needs to be cared for, like a garden. If left for too long, weeds will grow up. Closeness and intimacy are not natural, they are the result of proactive love every day, although very small, but must be real.
It's a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit.
