When they were young, their grandparents were a safe world: a bowl of rice broth, a fairy tale, a fan of summer noon. But as adults, that relationship often comes behind work appointments, food pressure, and personal life. Not because we are all-ils-for-all, but because we have entered another life.
Generation gap and maturity
As adults, people expand their social world: friends, colleagues, and small family. Time, the most limited thing is divided into small things. grandparents, often no longer living together, easily become "soft priorities". Geographical distance, technological differences and perspective on life make conversation no longer as natural as before.
According to Dr. Karl pillemer - a family sociologist at Cornell University (USA), "When children and grandchildren grow up, the connection with grandparents changes from dependence to proactive choice". He believes that distance does not mean less love, but reflects the personalization process in modern society.
Besides that, there is a generation gap. grandparents grew up in a context of poverty, promoting endurance; young people matured between speed, competition and mental pressure. The two value systems are not opposite, but it is difficult to "catch the wave" if patient.
When love is delayed due to busy
Another reason that is less straightforward is that adults often avoid facing the fragility of old age. Seeing our ancestors weakening, our memories slowing down, we see the limited image of human life in a low light, which is not easy to accept. Bustling is sometimes a safe excuse to delay emotions.
Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne - psychology professor at Massachusetts Amherst University (USA) - commented: "Adults tend to invest emotions in peer relationships, because they bring clear two-way interaction". Meanwhile, for grandparents, care is often one-sided, requiring a lot of patience.
However, distance is not the end. Just a regular call, a weekend meal or asking grandparents to tell old stories, the bond can be reconnected. Marriage and family are not only a relationship between husband and wife and children, but also a way for generations to keep each other in the past and present.
Adults do not force us to leave our grandparents. What is needed is to be proactive, take the time to proactively spend, listen proactively, and love proactively before conversations are just in nostalgia. Maintaining that closeness is also keeping a part of the family's core in the midst of a busy life.
