My friend's child took the 10th grade entrance exam at a famous school in Hanoi. He said that before the exam score was announced, his son was almost depressed, because in reality he did not do his homework well. He asked me how should I behave so that my child won't suffer psychological damage?
I can only say: Even if you are the one who spends effort, time, and money to invest in your childs education, the first thing to remember is: Scores do not define the total value of a persons actions.
Many education experts advise that: at the time when your child has just learned the exam scores - whether it is grade 10 or high school graduation - parents need to stay calm, because their children's emotions at that time are very fragile. If you are too angry, delay the conversation. Scolding the child and the penny at this time is no different from adding a bucket of cold water to the child's damaged heart, which can even put the child in a state of stress and despair.
Consider the weakness as a signal to adjust your learning strategy, not a weakness that needs to be hidden. Especially in the 10th grade exam, many excellent students from primary and secondary schools are at the top of the class but when taking the exam, they fall into the average score group. The reason can be due to the difference in qualifications between regions, schools, or simply the difficult problem - children do not have enough skills to handle situations.
Many parents who see their children with low scores immediately register for an extra-curricular center, find a guardian, and rush with a tight study schedule. But sometimes that's not what I need. Instead, ask yourself: How do you want to improve your score? What support do you need from your parents?
A feasible study plan, with time to rest, combined with adjusting living habits (such as reducing phone use, limiting playing games, prioritizing review time...) will help children feel like they are mastering their studies. When your child proposes ways to improve, he will feel more mature, responsible and confident.
Many students study well but have poor exam scores due to anxiety, depression, insomnia, or simply obsession with exams. If parents only look at the results but ignore their mental health, it is a big mistake. There are children who hide their emotions, show strongness on the outside but on the inside collapse day by day because they are afraid of their parents' disappointment.
Let's understand: Parents love their children not for the highest score, but for themselves. When children fail, the family is still the safest place to return. Don't compare yourself with "other people's children" - that only makes the wound deeper and the trust broken.
Poor grades, especially in the 10th grade or graduation exam, are not a sign that your child is amentating. It is an opportunity for the family to learn how to love - the right way. When parents are calm, understanding and accompanying, their children will be more mature after each trip.
