Parents' conflicts over exam scores put pressure on children

Việt Bắc |

Conflicts about exam scores and future orientation of parents unintentionally create pressure for their children.

When the high school graduation exam scores are announced, many families begin to discuss choosing a school, choosing a major and orienting their children's future. However, not every exchange takes place in consensus. In some cases, it is the difference in views of parents that causes children to fall into a state of stress.

The family of Mr. Nguyen Thanh Hung (45 years old, Thai Nguyen) is an example.

His son achieved enough points to register for the communications major - a field he loves and has pursued since high school. Mr. Hung respects his son's choice, believing that studying according to his passion will create motivation for long-term development. Meanwhile, Ms. Lien - his wife - resolutely wants her son to register for the information technology major because she believes that this is an easy job placement and high income field.

The exchanges quickly became controversial. The mother constantly analyzed career opportunities, while the father thought that his son needed to have the right to decide his future.

According to Mr. Hung, his son has spent many years learning about the field of study, actively participating in related activities and repeatedly expressed his desire to pursue the field of communication.

If studying a major is only to please parents, children can easily lose motivation, even drop out halfway," Mr. Hung shared.

Standing between two opposing opinions, the male student almost did not dare to express his wishes. After many days, he became taciturn, often stayed in the room and avoided conversations related to admission consideration.

Similarly, the family of Mr. Ho Huu Hanh (40 years old, Tuyen Quang) also had a conflict after his daughter received the results of the high school graduation exam.

Knowing that her child achieved scores lower than expected, instead of encouraging her, Ms. Hoai - Mr. Hanh's wife - constantly compared her child with her classmates.

I think he has tried his best anyway. The thing to do now is to help him stabilize his psychology and then consider a suitable admission plan. The current score still opens up many opportunities, the important thing is to help him correctly recognize his abilities and choose the next direction. However, my wife is very harsh about scores," Mr. Hanh confided.

According to Mr. Hanh, every time he speaks out in defense of his child, the couple argues again. The wife believes that strictness will help her child have a better future, while he believes that too much pressure will only make his child feel more self-conscious.

Before the disagreements of her parents, her daughter gradually became silent. She no longer shared her thoughts with her family, and did not know whether to be happy because she had completed the exam or sad because she had not met her parents' expectations.

According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc - Nhan Hoa Viet Counseling and Psychological Therapy Center, the time to know exam scores is the period when students are particularly sensitive to emotions. Parents' reactions at this time can strongly impact the child's psychology. The most important thing is that parents accompany, encourage and listen to their children instead of just focusing on scores.

Mr. Duc said that exam scores only reflect the results of one exam, not reflecting the entire capacity or development potential of each student.

It is the way parents react after knowing the results that is the long-term factor affecting their children's confidence, recovery ability and mental health in the next stages," the expert emphasized.

Việt Bắc
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