Marriage lacks emotional connection and void gradually appears
Mr. Nguyen Nhat Huy (36 years old, Hanoi) used to have a marriage lasting more than 7 years before falling into an affair during a period of prolonged work pressure.
Mr. Huy said that the early years of his marriage were quite peaceful. Both had stable jobs, built a small family together and shared daily responsibilities. However, over time, work pressure increased, and the increasingly busy pace of life gradually changed the connection between the two spouses.
Initially, I still asked and shared things during the day. But later, it mainly revolved around work, children, and money. Deeper stories are almost gone," Mr. Huy recalled.
According to him, the change did not come from a major event, but happened silently day by day. The growing emotional distance made him feel lonely right in his own family.
We no longer talk to each other about our inner thoughts. I feel like I am not being listened to, and I don't know who to share with," Mr. Huy confided.
During that period, Mr. Huy said that he found comfort when talking to someone outside.
Initially, it was just normal conversations about work and life, but gradually it became a place for me to seek empathy and understanding. That relationship did not start with love. It started with me feeling listened to," he said.
On the opposite side, Ms. Le Thi Mai (33 years old) - a freelance businesswoman - was the one who discovered her husband had an affair. For her, the shock was not only in the incident, but also in the feeling of disappointment when looking back at the entire period of previous marriage.
Ms. Mai recounted that for many years, family life still took place normally in terms of appearance: Still eating together, still taking care of children, still taking care of work together. However, the emotional connection between the two spouses became increasingly blurred. The conversations became short, more informing than sharing.
There are times when I think everything is still okay, it's just that everyone is busy. But when the incident happened, I realized that distance had existed for a very long time," Ms. Mai said.
According to Ms. Mai, what hurt her the most was not only the betrayal, but the feeling that the two had gradually drifted apart from before without anyone realizing it.
Adultery often stems from many intertwined factors
Discussing this issue, Ms. Le Phuong - Director of the Center for Psychology and Human Development of NHC Vietnam - Quan Hoa Branch - said that adultery often does not originate from a single cause, but is a combination of many intertwined factors in married and personal life.
According to experts, there are cases affected by external conditions such as favorable environments but lack of boundaries in social relationships. However, more common are issues in married life itself: ineffective communication, inability to share emotions, prolonged conflicts that are not resolved.
Besides, internal factors also play an important role. Some people have a high need for recognition or lack emotional connection in marriage, thereby easily seeking compensation from outside. In some cases, this behavior is also evasive of pressure and psychological instability," the expert said.
According to expert Le Phuong, many people when falling into a stressful situation in marriage tend to react emotionally. However, this easily pushes conflicts higher instead of being resolved.
It is important to stay calm when facing the situation. If you react in an uncontrolled state, it is very easy to make the relationship more tense," the expert emphasized.
Experts also noted that after emotions have stabilized, it is necessary for both sides to have a frank dialogue to review the entire process of the relationship. This helps to clearly identify the root cause, and from there can be appropriate handling directions.
It could be to continue the relationship with specific commitments and changes, or if there is no longer the ability to accompany, it is also necessary to choose a civilized way of ending it, minimizing damage for both sides," the expert said.
