When in love, many couples often easily overlook each other's differences. But after marriage, living together and shouldering family responsibilities together makes differences gradually become the cause of conflict.
Ms. Thanh Lien (Tuyen Quang) and her husband got married after nearly 3 years of dating. Before the wedding, both thought they understood each other enough to start family life. But just a few months after the wedding, disagreements began to appear.
When we were in love, he was quite sophisticated, sometimes even actively doing everything for me. But after getting married, we started living together, so different habits were clearly revealed," Ms. Lien shared.
Ms. Lien is used to everything in the house having to be arranged neatly, while her husband is quite sloppy. She wants her husband to take the initiative to share housework. And he once said that things like cooking and cleaning are not too difficult and if his wife can do it, there is no need to remind her.
Things that seem very small, from who washes dishes, who cleans the house to weekends going to the husband's or wife's parents' house, also sometimes become the cause of the couple's tension.
There are days when I just want him to take the initiative to do something without me having to remind him. But he thinks I'm overdoing the problem. You two have the same thing but look at it in two different ways, so it's very easy to argue," Ms. Lien said.
Ms. Lien's story is also an experience that many young couples encounter when transitioning from love to marriage.
When in love, two people often have a lot of time for each other, easily overlooking inappropriate points. But when living together, differences that are inherently obscured by emotions can gradually become a regular issue.
Also falling into a similar situation, Ms. Nguyen Thi Lan and her husband (Thai Nguyen) once had such a time.
After getting married, busy work made the time spent together less. Her husband often came home late, while Ms. Lan had to take care of many household chores herself. Complaints appeared more and more.
When we were in love, we talked to each other about everything. After getting married, it was different. There were times when I was annoyed but didn't want to talk, he also kept silent. We were in the same house but sometimes we couldn't say a few words each other all day," Ms. Lan recounted.
The prolonged silence caused small conflicts to accumulate. Ms. Lan said that at one point she thought that the two had changed too much compared to when they were in love.
“Sometimes I wonder why he could care about such small things in the past, but now whatever I say, he feels annoyed.
Then I realized that perhaps it was not that the feelings disappeared, but that both of us were under other pressures when we became husband and wife," Ms. Lan said.
After a prolonged conflict, Ms. Lan and her husband decided to sit down to clarify the things that hurt each other.
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc (Nhan Hoa Viet Counseling and Psychological Therapy Center), a sustainable marriage not only needs love but also requires companionship, respect and sharing.
Don't just rely on emotions or vibrations. It is important that two people can face and solve problems arising in life together.
Also according to experts, a sustainable marriage does not depend on how perfect two people are, but on whether both are willing to respect, listen and solve problems together.
In marriage, disagreements are inevitable. The important thing is not to avoid arguments but to know how to listen, respect and find solutions instead of blaming or avoiding.
