Housework piled on shoulders, husband and wife easily have conflicts
After a working day, Ms. Nguyen Thi Thuy Linh (35 years old, Hai Phong) often continues with a series of household chores such as cooking, cleaning, taking care of children and arranging unnamed tasks.
Meanwhile, her husband is also busy with work, so housework gradually becomes part of the work that she naturally has to take on.
There are days when I am very tired but still try to finish the housework because if I don't do it, I don't know when I will finish it. Many times I don't need my husband to do everything for me, I just hope he takes the initiative to share," Ms. Thuy Linh said.
According to Ms. Thuy Linh, the pressure comes not only from the number of jobs but also from having to remember and arrange everything in the family, from meals, housework to children's schedule.
There are very small things, but if I don't remember, no one will do them. Many times I just hope my husband will actively see and do them together, instead of waiting for me to remind him," Ms. Linh shared.
As for Mr. Nguyen Van Nam (38 years old, Hanoi), he used to think that his wife could proactively arrange family matters better. However, after witnessing his wife being often tired, he realized that housework cannot be assumed as the responsibility of one person.
“Previously, I thought my wife was used to doing housework, so she would shoulder it better than us men. However, looking back, I see that if both of us share, everything will be much lighter. I started to proactively pick up the children, wash dishes or clean the house instead of waiting for my wife to ask,” Mr. Nam said.
According to Mr. Nam, after actively sharing family work with his wife, the couple's family also reduced unnecessary arguments and had more time for each other.
Do not assume housework is a separate responsibility of women
According to psychologist Pham Thi Hien - NHC Vietnam Center for Human Development and Psychology, housework, taking care of children or maintaining the emotional life of the family should not be assumed as a separate responsibility of women.
Do not assume that housework, childcare or family emotional care are women's private responsibilities. All members are the ones who create and maintain the living space of the family," the expert said.
According to expert Pham Thi Hien, one of the reasons why women easily fall into a state of overload is prejudice about the image of a woman who must be responsible, thoughtful and able to handle everything herself. When these expectations last, women easily develop a mentality of having to "strain up" to fulfill all responsibilities.
It is necessary to reduce the prejudice that women must be capable, perfect and should shoulder everything themselves. Women are also workers, have a career, contribute economically and need to rest, listen, and share like other members," Ms. Hien emphasized.
Experts believe that each family needs to change their perspective, not consider the husband or other members participating in housework as helping women, but as the common responsibility of those living in the same family.
When housework becomes a common responsibility, women will reduce the feeling of having to shoulder everything themselves. Sharing also helps members understand each other better, have more time to connect and build a balanced and sustainable family together.
