According to psychologist Hoang Thi Ngoc Duyen (Director of the Center for Psychology and Human Development of NHC Vietnam - Hoang Hoa Tham Branch), when a wife or husband feels overwhelmed by taking care of children, it is important to choose the right time to talk. Both should talk when they are calm, instead of waiting until they are too tired and then explode into argument.
Express emotions and needs instead of blaming
Instead of blaming "You never take care of the child", you can say specifically: "I've been taking care of the child from morning to night these days, so I'm very tired. I hope you help me so I can have more time to rest." This way of speaking helps the other person understand what they need instead of feeling criticized.
Suggesting jobs, not judging people
A person who has not proactively taken care of their child does not mean they are irresponsible. Husband and wife should focus on what needs to be changed, avoid criticizing and make specific requests so that the other person can understand and share more easily.
Listen before explaining
When your partner says you are overwhelmed, the other person should listen and acknowledge your feelings first, instead of immediately explaining or telling about your difficulties. For example: "I understand you have been very tired and feel like you have to worry about everything alone.
Unifying the division of work
After both have shared, husband and wife should agree specifically who does what, at what time. Clear division will be more practical than general promises like "I will try harder".
Don't silently endure and wait for the other person to understand.
People who feel overwhelmed also need to proactively express their needs and ask their partner for support. At the same time, they should accept that each person can take care of their children in a different way, as long as they are aimed at sharing responsibilities and taking care of the family.
