Longing for love
In Beijing, Changpuhe Park and Temple of Heaven Park are two favorite meeting places for the elderly, according to the New York Times . Meanwhile, Hongyadong Park is considered a dating spot for the elderly in Chongqing. In Xi'an, the elderly often gather at Revolution Park every Wednesday and Saturday.
Meanwhile, in Shanghai, divorced and widowed seniors gather at a dating spot in People's Park every weekend. They also gather at an Ikea canteen on Tuesdays to look for suitable partners.
The visitors are dressed a little nicer than usual, and are eager to talk about their strengths, their past lives, and their future plans. "I'm very simple. I don't smoke or play mahjong," said Xu Xiaoduo, 70, a twice-divorced former primary school teacher who earns about $1,250 a month in pensions and claims to be a good dancer. But he added with a sigh: "But I can't find true love." Others shared Xu's frustration, with many saying they had lost hope.
China has more citizens aged 65 and older than any other country. And Shanghai has more seniors than any other Chinese city, the New York Times notes. Most of these citizens have long since retired, as China has one of the lowest retirement ages in the world. Many are widowed or divorced. These seniors often feel lonely because their children and grandchildren are too busy with their own lives to visit them often.
China’s elderly single population is growing. According to the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the population aged 65 and over is expected to reach 400 million in the next three decades. As Chinese people live longer, their ideas about love and marriage are changing, and more and more people are looking for a second or third chance at love and commitment. To meet this demand, many dating programs have emerged. There are chat rooms, live-streaming matchmakers, and dating apps for single seniors.
Old people dating place
But there is no substitute for meeting in person. Every week in Shanghai, hundreds of seniors gather at designated corners of public parks and at the food court of an Ikea store in Xuhui district, hoping to meet their future spouses. When and why the Ikea food court became a meeting place for seniors looking for partners is something no one can explain, according to the New York Times.
These gatherings are social events, with people bringing karaoke machines and speakers to parks to dance and sing. They also bring thermoses to Ikea for free coffee, sitting around birch and white plastic tables, telling stories about their youth.
There are many regulars at these events, like Ma Guoying, 64. The woman with a bright smile, a penchant for bright colors and oversized glasses, has spent a lot of time at Ikea and People's Park over the past few months. Her friend Zhang Xiaolan, 66, has been coming here for the past 10 years. However, neither of them have had much luck finding suitable partners. Older men seem to always seek out younger women.
Still, people like Ma Guoying still make time for these meetings, which last for several hours. “If we stay at home 24 hours a day, our brains will be more or less damaged,” she said. The 64-year-old is divorced. When she retired a few years ago, she felt very lonely at home because her daughter only called occasionally, mostly to check on her, but not to share or confide much.
People's Park has long been a gathering place in Shanghai. The tree-lined park was once a meeting place for gamblers, then for people who wanted to practice their English... Today, People's Park in Shanghai is famous as a marriage market - a place where parents come to help their unmarried children find suitable partners. Parents bring along resumes containing personal information such as their children's height, weight, and even other information such as IQ, education and test scores...
And recently, this park has also become a meeting place for lonely retirees looking for a companion. "Gradually, people think that if children can find a partner, so can parents. I came here once or twice to find my other half but couldn't find one," said Mr. Liu Qiyu.
Old love
Like the park meetings, the Ikea meetings every Tuesday attract people in their 60s to 80s. They are looking for what China calls “late-age love.”
On Tuesday afternoons, the dining area at the Swedish furniture retailer resembles a social club. Many people bring their own food and move from table to table, pulling up chairs to where friends and acquaintances are sitting.
Online dating isn't really for older men and women here. They have smartphones or at least can afford one, but most insist they don't want to look for a partner online.
"When I shop, I usually shop online, but I don't think online dating is trustworthy," said Li Zhiming, 69. Li's wife left him and their young son to go abroad in 1996. He has lived alone since then. When he retired nine years ago, the former Shanghai engineer began to indulge in activities for himself, such as playing cards, dancing and singing. "I have my own apartment, a pension and a healthy body," said Li. The 69-year-old felt lonely at home and wanted to find a "young and beautiful" woman. For his part, he would cook and take care of her.
Zheng Yue, 70, meanwhile, chose to sit alone and wait for someone to approach her. Like many other women here, she did not want to reveal her full identity, only using her social media handle. Her husband was a police officer who died a few years ago from injuries sustained while on duty. She is looking for a man who is “understanding, mature, stable, kind and lovable”, someone she can hold hands with for the rest of their lives. According to Zheng Yue, women tend to be more shy when it comes to these gatherings. Still, “we are brave enough to come and make the first move,” she said.
