Knowing is not being shy, nor is it being too submissive. It's like being able to position yourself in a situation, to say a sentence that fits and do something at the right time. That's where the personal ego knows to step back to see the person opposite.
Many people mistakenly think frankness is identity, forgetting that the nakedness and lack of tact are often manifestations of selfishness. In an agency, a department head who is too principled can make employees silent when asked "Is the job done yet?" when they ask to go home to take care of a sick child. The question is not wrong in theory, but lacks the kindness of a person who knows how to be considerate. Just add one question: "Is the job okay? If it's okay, go home to your grandchild", the listener will feel treated like a human being, not just a machine.
Being considerate is not a privilege or responsibility of one side alone. In Vietnamese culture, order from top to bottom always exists, but what makes that order pleasant or suffocating lies in the way of behaving. People in high positions, if they are considerate, will understand that power is not a tool to prove themselves important. It is like a chair, sitting firmly is good, but there is no need to stand up there to be taller than others. Conversely, people in lower positions, if they are considerate, also understand that respect is not bowing their heads too low. Sometimes just doing a decent job, talking properly and not turning any disagreement into a confrontation.
The most ordinary way of knowing things is sometimes just the click of the tongue to give each other a way when there is a traffic jam, or the act of proactively cleaning up some dishes when sitting at a collective dining table. The ancients taught "eat by looking at the pot, sit by looking at the direction" which is also teaching this observation and sophistication. Capacity can help us go far, but knowing things helps us have more friends. Because life is not just about achievements or power, it is also about long meetings, small requests, or accidental clashes in words.
In those places, knowledge sometimes doesn't help much. What keeps the atmosphere gentle is usually just a little sophistication like a softer sentence, a small step back, or just enough waiting. Those things don't make anyone lose their value, on the contrary, they make all relationships less tense and less tiring. In an increasingly hurried society, being considerate is still a beautiful expression of cultural behavior. Not noisy, not ostentatious, but enough to make anyone nearby feel a little more comfortable.
