Like turning on the lights when sleeping. Some people need complete darkness to fall asleep, others are used to dim lights. Initially, both of them yielded. But a few months later, the light switch could become a silent "front". Or washing dishes, one person likes to wash immediately after eating, the other person leaves it there to soak for easy washing. Those small things, if viewed with loving eyes, are habits, but if viewed with fatigue, it can become a reason for discomfort.
There is an elderly couple living in a dormitory that he met when taking photos. The husband talks a lot, forgets a lot, and is sloppy. The wife is neat, quiet, and very principled. Outsiders often wonder how these two can live together? But the reality is that they have lived together for more than forty years. She said philosophically: "He cannot change, but he is not getting worse because of that.
It turns out that what makes a marriage lasting is not similarity, but the ability to endure differences without hurting each other. When young, people often want to fix the other person. Fix the way of speaking, fix the way of thinking, and even fix things related to living habits. But people are not an item that can be adjusted to be pleasing.
Marriage, after all, is not a problem of finding the perfect person, but a process of learning to live with imperfection. There are very peaceful days, but there are also days when just a small word is enough to make the atmosphere heavy. And it is in those days that the most difficult choice is not right or wrong, but whether you still want to sit down together or not. People often say love is emotion, but marriage is a skill. The skill of endurance, the skill of listening, the skill of silent at the right time and also the skill of not turning a small matter into a big battle. Not everyone is good at those skills from the beginning. Many people learn in conflict, in fatigue, even in times when they think they want to give up.
But the longer you go, the more people realize that the "perfect" that they initially imagined does not exist, but instead is familiarity. The person who annoys you, but is the only person you want to share dinner with. The person who doesn't understand you all the time, but is there when you need it most. And then, love is no longer about finding someone like you, but about finding someone different enough so that life is not boring, but also close enough so that no one has to go alone.
