Then he looked back at himself. Fifty years old. Also "sunny enough", "blossomed" once and then broke up, broke up in a civilized way, without any resentment, full child support, consensual.
During the initial period of divorce, he had a strange feeling, that is, he was shy, or rather, afraid of re-establishing family life. He felt that if he remarried, it would be like entering a repetitive cycle. His friend told him to get married again, but he just smiled. Then gradually, he realized that he was used to being alone. He liked being alone.
He read Haruki Murakami, one of the most influential contemporary writers in the world, and found him writing: “I am the kind of person who likes to be alone. To put it more clearly, I am the kind of person who does not feel pain when alone. I find spending an hour or two a day running alone, without talking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, neither difficult nor boring. When given the choice, I prefer reading alone or concentrating on listening to music rather than being with others. I can always think of things to do alone.” And then, Haruki Murakami concluded: “Being alone is not necessarily lonely, sometimes being alone is also a way to listen to and love yourself.”
His friend said that was a… toxic, selfish way of thinking. People need to have partners. He argued, so why did the rate of single people in Vietnam increase from 4% in 2003 to over 10% in 2023? Do they all have problems? Are they all so poor that they are “leftover” or have no one to take them?
You just think, in that 10%, there are millions of people who think like you: from having a family - to being single, then gradually getting used to that life. In modern society, many people see "being alone" as a lonely state that needs to be avoided. But in fact, spending time alone is not only a personal need but also a necessary skill. People who like to be alone are not social escapists, they are just looking for balance. We are often too busy listening to others that we forget that we also need to be listened to. Being alone, you learn to accept imperfection, discover your own value and find inner peace.
So are you actively lonely, or is it just that right now, you don't see enough sunshine to bloom?
