In many families, there is a really paradox that is silently repeating: Children grow up in fear, in harsh reprimands, in the eyes of those who are never gentle... but are often taught that, "in the past, parents were beaten all the time, it was okay".
But that's fine and there are many things that haven't been put into words.
I have met adults - who look strong and successful - but their inner self is full of hard scars to heal. They are people who do not dare to live true to their emotions, always find themselves wrong when making mistakes and cannot love anyone without skepticism and caution.
They said, I was beaten when I was little, but Im fine. However, inside that seemingly firm statement is a heart that has never been healed. It is the fear of abandonment. It is a struggle when faced with love. It is a habit of punishing yourself every time you feel you are not good enough.
"Love is like a Whip, love is like a Boost", but the ancient parents still love their children. But pitying does not mean beating. Love, it is not necessary to associate it with just hugging and applauding. And teaching is not the same as hurting children.
A child can be very crazy when afraid, but that kindness is because they are shaking. It listens because it is afraid of being abandoned, not because it understands or believes in unconditional love. There are children, at their parents' side, who seem to be living in a quiet room - where all expressions have to be measured, all desires have to be hidden.
We live in a society where many adults say they are fine, but are clumsy in their way of loving. Not because they are not good, but perhaps just because they have never learned to love healthily - from the people they have loved the most.
If you truly love your children, please let love be the root of all actions. Don't make your child afraid every time you hear their name. Don't teach your children with threats, with looks that make their hearts small. Choose gentleness - because that is where souls are nurtured and grow.
Children don't need parents to be perfect. What they need is someone who is humble enough to apologize, patient enough to listen and patient enough to be gentle when their child stumbles. Be a place where you can run back, not a place you have to avoid.
If you are unintentionally putting pressure on your child - even in your unconscious - please stop today. Don't wait until tomorrow. Don't wait until Children's International Day on June 1 to express your love and gentleness that you should have done since your child was born.
